NecROSEphelia

I hate the general public...

2012-02-19T17:02:00.000-05:00

Because you keep infecting me!!!!!! The stomach virus wasn't enough, huh? No. I've now got a fucking bronchial cough, the chills, a fever, and the stomach virus!!! How did this happen? Well, I went out this afternoon and drove to Littleton. The cigarettes up there are cheaper than they are around here, so I figured I'd get out and maybe feel a little better getting out...

WRONG! I came home and I just felt like death warmed over... Then the cough and all of the other crap started. And yes, I'm blaming it all on all of these assholes that don't cover their mouths when they cough. FUCKERS! GAH! I can't be sick right now! And the worst part about it is that every time I fucking cough I get pain shooting through my ribs... I might as well just break them and get it over with! eh heh...

That's been my day thus far - sickness... How's yours going? Oh, wait, my only reader is sick too! Curse you pedestrian fucking assholes for making good people sick!

+Rei Bathory+

This sucks...

2012-02-18T18:39:00.000-05:00

I threw up so fucking much last night... I've never wretched so hard in my life. The puking has stopped, but now I think I might have bruised ribs thanks to my wonderful evening of vomiting... It hurts to cough, it hurts to laugh, and it just plain hurts to move... I don't even have any Percocet's to help deal with the pain.

I have a stomach bug, I know I do. And I also know where I got it from... Rob's brother and his family have had this bug since the beginning of the week. Yet, they kept coming over here anyway and now I'm infected. Rob and Timothy seem to be immune as they've not so much as had a drop of diarrhea...

Speaking of Timothy, I've got him all week this week... He's on February vacation and I'm going to have to drag him around everywhere I go. I have an appointment at Dartmouth this coming week for my headaches and that's a 4 hour ride back and fourth... eh heh... I'm sure we'll manage, but he's going to expecting things every time he sees a fast food joint or a store... Basically, it's going to be a long week... XD

Well, that is all for now, darlings! Did you notice the change in header? Yes, GPK week is over and now it's just back to random lyrics. The one that's up there now is from Blutengel's "Soul of Ice" song! <3 Have a lovely evening and a nice start to your Sunday! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

A good and bad day...

2012-02-17T17:43:00.000-05:00

Let's get to the bad parts first... I saw my therapist today and while I still like her, I sort of wish she was an addiction counselor, too. I tried explaining my Percocet problems to her, but she didn't have any advice or insight as to what to do... I must have ranted about Frank for half the time... XD That gave me a headache... eh heh...

The good part of today was that Rob's Valentine's Day present came in after a long wait... He was very happy with what I got him! However, the guy that said that he was going to send extras sent two DVD's that weren't even in their sleeves and Rob just tossed them. And speaking of presents, I got another one today!

It's a sock monkey, sort of like the one I got Jason for Christmas. This one is much bigger, though. It's wearing a hoody that says "You're amazing just the way you are" and it sings the lyrics and dances when you press his hand! I am so in love with it! <3 Rob is so awesome, always spoiling me... <3

Well, that is about all for now, darlings! Have a lovely evening and a nice start to your weekend! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

The end...

2012-02-16T17:32:00.000-05:00

No, I'm not going anywhere, but my psychiatrist is! ;.; I had my last appointment with her this afternoon and I sort of didn't want it to end... I've seen so many different mental health workers over the years that it would make your head spin, but never a psychiatrist like her. She's always on top of everything and I don't know how I'm going to get the same level of care from this new guy...

The reason I say that is because all of my psychiatrist's patients are being referred over to him. So I don't know if appointments will be shorter or if I'll get the same level of attention. I did manage to get her a thank you card and a small gift at the Hallmark store!

I wasn't expecting the reaction I got when she opened her gift... She didn't cry or anything, she told me that the wind chime I got her was something that she collects! The wind chime was a tiny one but it had a bluebird on it and she said that that's what she really likes! ^^ I guess she has a big tree that she hangs her wind chimes on and she said it would be perfect for it! <3

Well, that's all for now, darlings! I hope you're all having a great day/evening and a lovely Friday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

I need this like a hole in the head... Or maybe that's what I do need...

2012-02-15T17:38:00.000-05:00

Over the past 3 or 4 days, I've been getting severe headaches... The pain usually starts in the front or back of my head and then just encompasses the whole fucking thing. :\ I've been very bad about wearing my glasses lately, I hardly do it at all... These damn contacts are useless for the most part.

I just got off the phone with Dartmouth Neurology and I have an appointment scheduled for next Wednesday. I was supposed to go in January, but it would have just been for the nerve blocks again. That's one thing that Frank is good for, he does them better than my neurologist... eh heh... But I think I need something more this time... I don't know if it'll be another pill or what, but I'll do anything to rid myself of these fucking headaches...

Along with the headaches, I've been having problems driving lately. My eyes start playing tricks on me and I'm afraid of what might happen if this continues... You see, sometimes when I'm driving things sort of jump into my field of vision making it look like I'm going to go head on into another car, tree, snowbank, or whatever else... I'm just so afraid that if I see one of these cars heading straight for me, I'm going to swerve out into traffic and cause some serious damage...

Well, that is all for now, my darlings... I'm nice and drugged up again thanks to getting my Percs back as well as taking those muscle relaxers that my psychiatrist gave me. I hope all of you had a nice Valentine's Day like I did yesterday! A wonderful evening and a nice start to Thursday for all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

aki - kuchizuke/NO REASON (Type-A) (2007)

2012-02-14T21:41:00.000-05:00

Being that it is the day of love and all, I thought that I'd share something that was really special. I'm also doing this for Rob as aki is one of his favorite artists and he encouraged me to upload this for you all! <3 I uploaded aki's "THE CELL MIXES" earlier last year, but very few people actually took it. I think the problem lies in the fact that aki and Laputa are just not as well known as some other Japanese acts. They never had a solid fanbase abroad... Then 2004 came around and Laputa broke up, which was really a tragedy because all of their music fucking rocks! Well, I'm not sure what happened to Junji and Tomoii I know that Kouichi is now involved in several projects and likes to go be "Everlasting K" now. aki's solo stuff is nearly impossible to find on the web. Part of it is because there are hundreds of aki's out there and it's nearly impossible to sort through them. However, I do have a bunch of his stuff if anyone wants it after listening to this. Again, though, aki's stuff is really super hard to come by, especially this. It took me over 30 minutes just to find that small picture of the single's cover...This single came in three types, A, B, and C each containing a different track 3. This one has an acoustic version of THE END from aki's first solo album "CONFLICT". Kuchizuke is amazing, in my opinion. It starts off so mellow and then becomes this insanely good rock track. NO REASON is great, too! aki's music always has such a distinct flavor, there's not a whole lot like it. His backing band may not be as good as Laputa, but they can definitely kick ass on their instruments! Okay, I'll stop talking now! Enjoy the single! And remember, this is Rob's, so all of the credit goes to him for getting a hold of it... I just rip and upload... eh hehaki - kuchizuke/NO REASON (Type-A)Tracklist:01. kuchizuke02. NO REASON03. THE END (ACOUSTIC Ver.)
Download

Oh, happy day!!!!

2012-02-14T18:46:00.000-05:00

Rob has outdone himself for Valentine's day this year! I'd been sitting around looking out the window for a good while waiting for him to come home... Timothy was sort of being a little shit today, so I had to keep going back and forth to do things for him and then it was back to the window! XD

When he pulled in I had Timothy open the door for him because I didn't want to see anything before I was supposed to... After having a cigarette and changing his clothes, Rob presented me with gifts! Lots of them!

I got TWO DOZEN roses, a bottle of perfume, a big box of candy, and he was even thoughtful enough to pick up a cake for us all to eat after dinner tonight! I felt so bad not having anything to give him, but I told him what was going on and he was still very understanding and he thanked me for ordering the DVD's for him! <3

Well, that is about all for now... I must go make our dinner so we can get into that cake! Plus I have to keep smelling my beautiful roses! <3 I hope all of you are having a nice Valentine's Day! And to my sick friends, I'm not trying to rub it in... ^^; But fuck it, Rob's getting everything and then some tonight! eh heh... Have a lovely evening and remember to be careful if you're one of those people who like bondage and asphyxiation because you don't want to hurt your partner on this special day! XD Who am I to talk? I drink Rob's blood every time that we fuck... So yeah, do whatever... Have a lovely evening and a great Wednesday! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

I can't wait...

2012-02-13T17:11:00.000-05:00

To get more drugs! Only two more days to go until I get my new script for my whole 14 little Percocet's... Better than nothing, I guess. But no, I'm also excited about Valentines Day tomorrow! I can't wait to see what Rob gets me! ^^;

Timothy and I have to do all of his little Valentines cards for his classmates tonight... Always last minute with that kid, I swear... XD I remember doing that in elementary school, it was always so much fun! There was this one kid who always wrote "Love" on his cards, it was kind of weird because nobody else did that... *Shrug*

I'm finally feeling human today, thankfully... I was tempted to take more Geodon today, but I didn't! Yay! Nope, just muscle relaxers, Tylenol, and some good old cutting for the pain today. The cuts weren't that deep and I have so many fresh ones that there's not much skin left to damage... eh heh...

Well, that's about all for now, darlings! I hope you're all having a wonderful day/evening and a nice Tuesday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Oh, I feel so horrible...

2012-02-12T15:26:00.000-05:00

I'm completely out of Percocet and we don't even have any Tylenol in the house... *Sigh* I had no other option other than to take some of the muscle relaxers that my psychiatrist gave me and those knocked me out for a little while... Now I just feel foggy and weak...

Rob was extremely worried about me last night... I went to bed before him and he said that I was breathing funny because of all of those pills that I'd taken yesterday. Then I woke up at about 6:30 this morning and I was half hanging off of the bed... eh heh... I managed to get back on and slept until Timothy woke me up at 9:00...

I'm doing this now because I don't know how much longer I'll have the energy to type... I just feel so goddamn worn out and seeing as I'm not feeling much of anything right now, I figured this would be a good time to blog while I'm not in pain.

Don't worry about me, darlings... I'll be fine. Hopefully I can get my shit together and maybe I'll be back later. Until then, a lovely rest of the day and a nice start to the week for all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Overboard with the pills again...

2012-02-11T20:16:00.000-05:00

Not Percocet, I wish... I took a bunch of psych meds to get high this afternoon and I'm still paying for it as I type this... My head is in a fog, I can't walk straight, and I feel like I'm going to pass out. I don't think I overdosed, but I really have to stop fucking around with these anti-psychotics... Not good news... eh heh...

I just felt high after I took the pills, but within two hours I was sleeping on the couch and that lasted for about 3 hours... Then I ate dinner and it made me feel a little better, but not totally. Right now I've got some chocolate chip cookies baking and hopefully that will help get some of this crap out of my system...

And an update on Rob's Valentines Day gift... The guy did not send it out today as he said he would... *Sigh* He's not mailing until Monday but I guess he's gonna send some extra DVD's because of the long wait. That's a nice gesture, I think...

Well, I must get back to my cookies, darlings... Have a great evening and a nice Sunday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Almost Valentines Day...

2012-02-10T17:48:00.000-05:00

And Rob's gift is nowhere to be seen... I ordered him some of his Japanese wrestling DVD's and the guy that I bought them from says they'll probably be shipping tomorrow... He doesn't usually ship priority either, so I'm worried that they won't be here in time... *Sigh* I've already made something to wear for him that night but I know he's buying me something and I want to reciprocate...

I personally don't like the guy that sells the DVD's... He's so erratic on when he ships that it's to the point of ridiculousness... Sometimes they'll go out in a matter of days, this time it's been over two weeks since I ordered them. I know that Rob will understand, he's been dealing with these people for a long, long time, but it doesn't make me feel any better...

Speaking of feeling better, I'm no longer as enraged as I was yesterday... I had a couple of pieces of some Percocet 30's that I was able to take today to relieve some of the pain. Now, I feel better at the moment but that could change as soon as these pills wear off... I always try to have something on hand, but I'm running lower than usual this week... *Sigh* I'll manage, I always do... Maybe I just think about it too much?

Well, that is all for now, darlings... I hope you're all having a wonderful day/evening and a nice start to the weekend for you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Frank must die...

2012-02-09T17:13:00.000-05:00

Fuck you, Frank... Take your 14 pills a week and shove them up your fucking ass! You bald-headed son of a bitch... I'm already out of fucking pills because you don't give me enough to maintain this agony... You try living like I do and see where this pittance gets you...

The business you work for claims to give people their lives back but in truth, you are taking mine away. Fine, I'm an addict, yes, I'll admit that. But I'm also in tremendous physical pain every day and no, it is not in my imagination...

Fuck you and all of those associated with you who put on their fake smiles when they make me submit to urine tests and count my pills every fucking week... I should sue your fucking ass but what chance do I have against a corporation? If I didn't have things to live for now, I'd fucking gut you like a fish...

+Rei Bathory+

I hate New Hampshire's college children...

2012-02-08T17:16:00.000-05:00

So I had to go and get my Percocet's today and I almost ran over a few of these stupid motherfuckers... You see, I have to go all the way from North Woodstock to Plymouth (about 40 miles) to get my pills. Plymouth is home to Plymouth State University and of course, all of these little shits that attend there.

They think they own Plymouth center and Highland St. which is the route I take to get to Pain Care. They'll step out in the middle of the street without warning so I always go slow. But that still doesn't stop me from almost hitting them! They think that they have the right of way all of the fucking time!

I ran across one retard who looked like he was actually either retarded or really fucking high on something... I stopped for him, but he didn't do anything. I waved him across, but still nothing... So then I beeped at him and he fucking moved. Then there are the crosswalks between the campus buildings that run across Highland... They have these student crossing signs that actually light up when classes are in session and that's supposed to warn hell on wheels like myself that they'll be crossing. Again! There's no one out of all of the damn children that will stop for a car! GAH! I almost hit some girl who crossed as I was half in the crosswalk... I flipped her off and told her to get the fuck out of the road...

Anyway, I got my pills and I'm happy to be away from Plymouth right now... I swear, one of these days I'm going to kill these fucking pricks and bitches and it won't be with my car... eh heh...

Well, I'm done ranting now, darlings... I hope you all are having a nice day, a lovely evening and a wonderful Thursday for you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

The car swapping has to end...

2012-02-07T17:11:00.000-05:00

Rob's brother and his family are really becoming a thorn in my side... For almost two weeks now, they've been borrowing my car off and on for various reasons. First and foremost because their car is having problems with brake fluid leaking and they're sort of afraid to drive it. With two small children, that is understandable...

However, the other day Rob's brother got pulled over because they didn't have a front license plate on the car. I asked him why it wasn't there and he thinks he lost it in a snow bank or something... They didn't have the money to replace it until today, so again, they've been using my car even for in town travel...

It's just a pain in the ass, really. My car is overdue for an oil change and between my driving and theirs, we've put over 18,000 miles on it in under a year... I don't need another dead car, especially when I'm still paying my parents back for this one... *Sigh* I've been talking to Rob about it and he's even willing to give them the money to get their car fixed when he gets his tax return...

Well, that's pretty much it for tonight, darlings... I haven't had much of an exciting day. I did end up having to cut again last night because of my extremely high pain level... I hope you're all having a wonderful day and a nice evening and lovely Wednesday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Clean bill of health... For now...

2012-02-06T18:09:00.000-05:00

So I had a doctor's appointment today and I had to take Timothy with me. Luckily I thought to give him some toys to play with while I was in there. I told my doctor about the constant muscle spasms and involuntary movements, but he didn't seem overly concerned. He said that a lot of medications can cause these things, and to continue working with Pain Care and my psychiatrist regarding that.

Last night I had some serious ear pain and a burning feeling inside my ears, but when looked at, they were just a little pink inside, nothing serious. Then I got a throat culture which came back negative on the 5 minute test, but they're sending it out for a more thorough evaluation. Last time this happened, the 5 minute test was negative, too, but the longer test came back positive for strep. So that's why I put "For now" up there.

Other than that I had to go to Walmart to buy food and some other household items. Of course, Timothy had to get a toy and some play dough... eh heh... I'd rather him have the play dough and create things, but he's pretty imaginative with his action figures, too. I can't complain too much. By the time we were done in Walmart, I was in serious pain and I had no pills with me... The ride home was a long one, but thankfully Rob was there to unload the car and put things away while I loaded up on narcotics...

And of course, we have the big pink elephant in the room... That of course is the Patriots losing the Super Bowl last night... Rob was fucking pissed when they lost, I've rarely seen him so angry... It's a guy thing, I suppose. I mainly watch for the new commercials... I loved the Bud Light commercial with the "We-Go" dog! I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at a commercial! XD <3

And one more thing... You may notice that the header on my blog keeps changing... Well, I've decided to alternate GPKISM lyrics in and out on a daily basis for awhile... Just something for a change of pace. See if you can get which song they're from! ^^

Well, that's all for now, darlings. I hope you've all had a wonderful day and a nice evening ahead for you! <3 Have a lovely Tuesday! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Fucking immigrants...

2012-02-05T17:41:00.000-05:00

I'm not going to go into a whole tirade on my feelings about illegal immigration... I'll just say that they should all be shot... No, I'm going to tell you about a specific set of immigrants at a store that I frequent.

I'm all for small business and the American Dream, but these people are douchebags and greedy ones at that. I go to their store because it is convenient and they're the only one in this area that carry my brand of cigarettes. It is fucking highway robbery what they charge, but it would cost the same in gas if I went somewhere else...

I was looking around the store because they have all of these cool little nick knack things that are pretty. But then the bitch at the counter came around and started acting sneaky. She was peering at me from different parts of the store making sure that I wasn't stealing... After I was done browsing I went to the counter to get my smokes...

She knows what I smoke so I just had to tell her how many. I then told her that she didn't have to follow me around the store because I'm not a thief... She completely denied it and said "I just making sure you didn't need anything." Bullshit. They're Asian people, I'm not sure what part of the continent they're from, but I do know that people that live in this area don't frequent their store because they're all racist hicks up here. This bitch should be thankful that I even come in to buy smokes...

It's not like I'm not going back, but I just don't appreciate being followed around like a criminal... Maybe that's common practice where they come from, but it's not here... I like it when the white lady is working there, but that's usually only in the morning on weekdays... :\

Well, that's my rant for the evening, darlings! I hope all of you are having a lovely evening and a nice start to the week for all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Oh, how I wanted a quiet day...

2012-02-04T17:39:00.000-05:00

But that didn't happen. Rob's brother and his girlfriend had to take my car up to Littleton to sell some games at Gamestop so that they could have some cash for various things... So Rob and I got stuck with Marissa and Jason for a few hours. It seems like this is happening more and more often as of late. I don't mind babysitting every once in awhile, but it's getting to be a bit much...

After they got back, they took Jason home but Timothy and Marissa wanted to play some more, so I agreed to let Marissa stay for awhile longer. She left at about 4:30 but I had to lend them my car again because theirs is leaking brake fluid and they don't like taking it long distances. I don't mind, just as long as they put gas in it and they're usually pretty good about doing that...

Then tomorrow Rob is on his own for a few hours with all three kids because Stephanie and I are going grocery shopping early in the morning. We figured this would be a good idea because it would beat the rush of Sunday (and Super Bowl) shoppers. Hopefully it works out that way. Both of our households are short on food and we need to go anyway, plus we need stuff for the game tomorrow!

Well, that's it for now, darlings. I hope you're all having a nice weekend and a lovely Sunday for you! Go Patriots! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

The therapy is helping... And another visit with Frank...

2012-02-03T17:12:00.000-05:00

So today I had two appointments pretty much back to back... The first was with my good buddy Frank at Pain Care. eh heh... The good news is that I will still be on my two Percocet's a day for another month. After that, who the fuck knows... He had little to say about my muscle spasms and stiffness other than I need to stop being so inactive. I don't think of myself as inactive, although, I guess he has a point considering that I don't do any kind of exercise at all...

Then there was my therapy appointment which I was actually looking forward to. I've developed a nice relationship with my new therapist over the few visits that I've had with her so far. She's very knowledgeable especially with cutting, as I found out that she is a reformed cutter herself... It's nice to have someone who understands what you're going through when it comes to this shit.

After that it was time to get Timothy off of the bus... He actually ate his lunch today which I was happy about. I don't like it when he won't eat because it makes me think that he's depressed. That's how I get when I'm in a deep depression, I want nothing to do with food... He came home and did his homework and then I let him go play his Wii...

Well, that's about all for now, darlings... I hope you're all having a nice day/evening and a wonderful start to the weekend for you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Stupid washing machine...

2012-02-02T16:49:00.000-05:00

Remember how last week I was complaining about dropping my ring in the washing machine? Well, that didn't happen again but now the washing machine is pretty much dead. I was trying to do a load of laundry last night and it kept making this funny noise that it hadn't ever made before... Rob said that it sounded like the motor was dead or dying...

So today I had to go to the fucking laundromat to wash clothes... I've seldom done this before because no matter where I've lived, I've always had a washing machine! I had to go to the bank to get quarters and then I had to play the waiting game at the laundromat because I was paranoid about people stealing my clothes! (What? A lot of that stuff is hand made!) At least it was warm in there...

After I was done there, I had to go and pick Timothy up at school and he was insistent that I buy him some McDonald's for lunch... I asked him why he was so hungry and he told me that he didn't eat the fucking lunch that I packed for him this morning... Why? Because he didn't like what was there... Damn children... I bought it for him, but I told him that that was it for treats for the week.

I have to go and see Frank tomorrow and I'm fearing the worst... I know that he's going to say that I'm going down to one pill a day and there's not going to be anything that I can do to change his mind. I am going to bring up all of these muscle spasms and stiffness to him and see if there's anything he can do on that end... These new pills I have aren't doing shit for them, so hopefully there's something else. I also have therapy tomorrow afternoon so at least I won't be just sitting around doing nothing all day...

Well, that is about all for now, my darlings... Have a lovely evening and a nice Friday, all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Something to get off my chest... Or not...

2012-02-01T18:57:00.000-05:00

I received a complaint today... Rob's brother came over to borrow $30 from me because he and his family are short on funds. I'm always happy to lend a hand when I can! However, he had something to say to me about Marissa... Apparently after they left last night, Marissa made a comment to her parents about me bending over and exposing my boobs to her...

First of all, I don't even remember doing it. Second of all, it's not like they fell out or anything... I had on a low cut top yesterday and yes, I was showing some cleavage... She asked her parents why my boobs are always hanging out or some shit like that. I guess it makes her uncomfortable... I told Rob's brother that I was sorry and that I didn't intentionally do it... He said just to be careful because he didn't want her going on about it in school and in turn get them in trouble... He said if it kept happening he wouldn't bring the kids over anymore...

This depressed me greatly... I felt so bad for making Marissa feel uncomfortable and not even knowing it. I happen to have a big chest and I can't do anything about it outside of spending some insane amount of money to get a reduction... What am I supposed to do about this?! Most of my tops fit nicely, I think, and I am proud of how I look so yeah, I like to show off my goods sometimes... I guess I'll just have to be more careful... *Sigh*

Other than that, I went to Pain Care to pick up my Percocet's today. They didn't piss me again which was good but Frank didn't write my script even though I'd called yesterday and asked that he do it... Luckily there was another doctor in the office who was able to write it. I had to do some food shopping, too, so I got a few things. Can you believe that a small bag of Dunkin Donuts coffee is almost ten dollars?! It is! I bought it anyway because that is what I like to have in the morning.

Well, not much else going on today, darlings... I hope all of you are having a wonderful evening and a nice Thursday for all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

FUCK THAT HURT!!!

2012-01-31T17:59:00.000-05:00

Lately the self-harm hasn't even been intentional... I just have to bend or stretch and I'm writhing in pain... You see, we had Rob's brother's whole family over here this afternoon and I was playing with baby Jason on the floor. As they were about to leave, I handed the baby off to Stephanie and as I was getting up, I twisted my ankle/lower calf...

The pain was more intense than any other muscle spasm that I've ever had and I wanted to cry! I didn't, but I very much wanted to... I swore that I'd broken my ankle because the pain was so intense and it just kept shooting up my leg... I managed to hobble to the couch and it took about 5 minutes of agonizing pain before it loosened its grip...

Rob gave me a half a Percocet and some muscle relaxers and that did me well... I can't wait to see what Frank has to say about this when I see him on Friday... He'll probably pussyfoot around it and do nothing, but I can hope! I need some sort of treatment for these stiff muscles because this shit is getting ridiculous... *Sigh*

Well, that's all for now, darlings... I haven't really had much of an interesting day other than this... I hope you're all having a nice evening and a wonderful Wednesday for you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Strange awakenings...

2012-01-30T18:03:00.000-05:00

Last night I went to bed early at around 10:45 because I was depressed and I didn't want anything to do with anything... Then I started having a dream in which I was sleeping in the dream world. People were trying to wake me up but I couldn't open my eyes. Then I found myself trying to wake up in reality but again, I couldn't open my eyes!

They did eventually open and I shot up in bed and looked around to make sure that I was really awake... Then I went downstairs and watched TV for awhile trying to figure this all out and I started to get tired again... I went back to bed but ended up just lying there trying to get back to sleep but I was afraid... *Sigh* I swear that these fucking meds (or coming off of them, rather) are really fucking with me...

I wanted nothing to do with getting up this morning because once again, I could not come out of my sleep... The only thing I really had to do today was wait around for my caseworker to show up so we could discuss a few things. Nothing really exciting, just the fact that I might be going to Pain Care in Franconia to see somebody other than Frank... I really hope that that works out!

Let's see, what else... I made brownies this afternoon! They came out pretty good, but I think I pulled them out of the oven too soon... Timothy enjoyed them, though, so that's all that matters, really.

Well, that's all for now, darlings. I hope all of you are having a nice evening and a wonderful Tuesday for all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Pain in the knee...

2012-01-29T18:31:00.000-05:00

Yeah, as if I don't have enough aches and pains already... The other day I was in the kitchen looking for something in the fridge and I slid and fell. The reason I fell is because some jackass put the coffee creamer behind something else and I lost my footing while looking for it...

I slammed down on my right knee and its been killing me ever since... *Sigh* The pain is just getting worse as the days go by and not even a Percocet 30 can take the edge off... Mind you, I already have serious problems with my knees because they're deformed and that's part of the reason why I'm on pain killers to begin with.

I had surgery on this knee in 2010 and the last time I saw my orthopedist, he said that it needed to be drained and worked on some more... Well, I've been putting it off and now I'm paying for it severely... I need to go back and see him soon, I've just got so much shit going on right now that I can't do everything at once... I don't know...

Well, not much else has been going on today. I hope you guys are enjoying those VELVET EDEN demo's and are having a nice evening! A lovely start to the week for you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

VELVET EDEN - Demo Tracks (2012)

2012-01-29T15:34:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Bara no Mitsukai sharing information about these tracks with me, I decided to go and look them up. I found a whole bunch of these new demo's on YouTube and I ripped the audio out of them and decided to upload them for you! ^^ I haven't even had the chance to listen to them yet, but they look really promising...

These tracks are in an unfinished state as of this upload. However, Dada feels as though they've got enough down to demonstrate them now. There are 7 tracks total and one of them "Black Butterfly" even features GPK! YAY! I hope you'll all grab these up! Enjoy!

VELVET EDEN - Demo Tracks

Tracklist:

01. Duel d'Amour
02. Flower on the Battlefield
03. Furies
04. One Caress
05. Rouge à lèvres noir
06. Unhappy Birthday
07. Black Butterfly

Download

One problem after another...

2012-01-28T18:29:00.000-05:00

So I finally got some decent sleep last night... I went to bed around midnight and I slept until about 8:30 AM. But with me, it just can't be that simple. I woke up and immediately ran to the bathroom because I had to puke. *Sigh* Then I fell back to sleep on the couch and got up at about 11:45 to puke yet again. I ended up throwing up a total of 4 times and have felt like shit the whole day...

Luckily the roads and shit had been cleared and Rob and Timothy went out and got my new medication and a few other things that we needed. The new meds seem to be helping out with the muscle pain and I can take them up to three times a day if I have to... They do make me a little drowsy and dizzy, though... :\

I just woke up from another nap and now I have to make dinner... I hope all of you are having a nice weekend without being under the weather. Have a lovely evening and a nice Sunday, all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Reupload VELVET EDEN - Into the EDEN (2011)

2012-01-27T18:46:00.000-05:00

Requested by Bara No Mitsukai I have reuploaded my VELVET EDEN compilation album from last year. I'm really sorry that I have to keep jumping around on these file sharing sites, but I can't get any of them to work for more than one upload. I had to use SendSpace which I know is a bit slow on the downloads, but it's better than nothing, I guess. Enjoy Bara-kun!

VELVET EDEN - Into the EDEN

Tracklist:

01. Witch on flames
02. Tsuki kumo Nocturne (Complete ver.)
03. Tragic Puppet Show
04. Alice is DEAD
05. Arachne
06. SAD MASK (Acoustic Ver.)
07. Confession of MASK
08. La Fin (New VE Version)

Download

What a mess...

2012-01-27T17:21:00.000-05:00

So we had our big storm today and luckily we did not lose power... However, Rob could not go to work and we kept Timothy home from school because of the shitty road conditions. Rob's brother actually has my car because his is need of repair. Apparently he gave a coworker a ride home this morning and my car got stuck in the snowy slushy mess... A nice plow driver helped him out of it and there was no damage to my vehicle. I should have it back tomorrow.

I wasn't even able to get out to get my muscle spasm medication today because it was just that bad... The weekend is looking more favorable, though. Hopefully they'll come through the complex and plow everything up nice and neat this evening and we can get around tomorrow.

The spasms have stopped for now and I was able to get some sleep during the day today. It was only about 3 and 1/2 hours, but it's better than nothing. Hopefully I'll be able to get to bed at a more reasonable hour and sleep through the night...

Well, that is about all for now, darlings... I hope you're all having a wonderful evening and a nice start to the weekend for all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Kaya - Vampire Requiem (2012)

2012-01-27T08:42:00.000-05:00

You have no idea of how much bullshit I just went through to get this uploaded... Mediafire wouldn't work and neither would 4shared, so I went with a smaller site known as fileserve. Rob's been fucking around with this browser and I think that has something to do with it... Anyway, let's get to the music, shall we?

Kaya has returned with his new single - Vampire Requiem! He partnered with HIZAKI (Versailles) who composed the music and Selia (Seileen) to put this together. The two songs featured on this single are in very stark contrast to one another. The title track is very elegant and romantic and has a mellow vibe. It is very beautiful and HIZAKI did a better job with this than he did with Kaya's other vampire song, Carmilla.

Then there is Curse of Rose which is so fucking epic! HIZAKI is known for his brilliant guitar work and it definitely shines through here! Selia did background vocals on both tracks and they lend even more elegant, operatic quality to the music. I'm so happy to see Selia getting some work as I loved Seileen's first EP and GPKISM's Angelus.

I hope you'll all give this a try seeing as how I went to such great lengths to get it up here... Enjoy!

Kaya - Vampire Requiem

Tracklist:

01. Vampire Requiem
02. Curse of Rose

Download

Ugh, what is happening to me?!?!?!

2012-01-27T07:04:00.000-05:00

I forgot to mention something in last night's post... I've been having constant muscle spasms in my arms, legs, and back. I talked to my psychiatrist about this and she said that it could be my Geodon that is doing it to me. She gave me a prescription for a medication that fights muscle spasms (I don't remember what it's called) but I could not fill it yesterday because Rite Aid didn't have any in stock... They're hoping they can have some in by this afternoon.

But it doesn't end there. Last night I threw out my back and caused my leg to go numb while having pain shooting down it and up into my head at the same time... *Sigh* If that's not enough, I keep getting these spasms in my right thigh that cause a ripping pain and actually causes my leg to turn. There's still more...

Upon trying to go to bed last night, I started having involuntary movements in my legs. They were kicking themselves and it scared the ever loving shit out of me... I have been up all night because of that and because my psychiatrist dropped my dose of Depakote as she's trying to now ween me off of it because it's not working...

I am terribly scared of what is going on... I can't bend or stretch in any manner without a muscle stiffening or spasming... I have an appointment with my primary care doctor on Tuesday so I'm hoping I can make it until then. I'm actually afraid to sleep because of the severe spasms that I've been getting in my legs nearly every morning lately...

I'm off to watch some TV... I will be back with more later on. Have a lovely day, all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Aww, I'm so sad...

2012-01-26T17:15:00.000-05:00

My psychiatrist is leaving me!!! :'( She has been slowly scaling back her hours at the office that I go to and I sort of saw this coming. I have one more visit scheduled with her next month and then that will be it. I plan on getting her a thank you card and possibly a small gift when I get paid next week.

I will be being transferred to another doctor at the office that I'm currently going to, and I've only heard good things about him. I don't know if it will ever be the same though... My current psychiatrist has been so good to me with regards to returning phone calls when I need her and always keeping on top of my medication situation... I can only hope that this new doctor will be the same way. The upside to the new guy is that he's there every day of the week as opposed to my current doctor who is now only there like every other Thursday... *Sigh*

There is a bright spot in this day, though! Rob brought home another baggy of Percocet 30's for us to take! Yay! Between him and I, we basically killed off my entire prescription of 5's yesterday... eh heh... I've already gotten into the pills and they hit me like a shit ton of bricks after the first pill... My eyes were rolling back in my head because I was so high! XD It's all good now, though, I'm just feeling buzzed and in a happy mood! <3

Oh, and by the way, if you don't hear from me tomorrow it's because the power went out... We're expecting a big storm overnight tonight that could leave us without power for a bit. They're saying that there could be significant ice accumulation on the power lines so... Just a heads up!

Well, that's all for now, my darlings... I hope you have a nice evening and a lovely Friday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

L'AME IMMORTELLE - Dein Herz (2006)

2012-01-25T20:59:00.000-05:00

I'm on a serious high right now so forgive me if I ramble... I uploaded this single way back in 2009 but I'm sure the original link is dead seeing as MegaUpload is now buried... I actually received an original copy of this in the mail today and I really wanted to share it with all of you!

Dein Herz is (in my opinion) one of the most epic and powerful songs done by any band ever... If you don't feel something when you get to the chorus, you're probably dead inside. It's that good! But it's not just vocally good, it has great rock and symphonic backing that give it an edge on a lot of other songs in this genre. But Dein Herz is not the lone track to watch for here...

Alone is a very sad song that really connects with me on an emotional level. I love Thomas' lyrics and the way he sings this song. While the instrumentation might not be as epic as the title track, it is well suited to the song. Then there is The Lake which is actually an Edgar Allen Poe poem that is narrated by Sonja and has musical backing. Beautiful. Musical. Backing!

The remixes of Dein Herz aren't quite as epic as the original, but they have their own flavor and place on the single. I really hope you guys will give this a listen! L'AME IMMORTELLE is one of the best bands you will ever hear and you will most certainly not regret checking them out!

L'AME IMMORTELLE - Dein Herz

Tracklist:

01. Dein Herz (single edit)
02. Alone (exclusive track)
03. The Lake (exclusive track)
04. Dein Herz (glucklich remix by Pilori)
05. Dein Herz (berzflimmern remix by Transportertraum)

Download

I'm such a retard...

2012-01-25T17:29:00.000-05:00

Okay, so get this... My washing machine has many issues. Sometimes it sounds like it is going to explode, others it doesn't spin, etc... Well, I was doing some laundry this afternoon and I decided that since it wasn't spinning at that particular time, I'd give it a little help. Upon removing my hand from the machine I noticed that it seemed a little lighter than usual...

I'd lost a very expensive ring in the machine. Mind you, the machine was full of soapy water and clothes, so it wasn't like it was visible... I started to freak the fuck out as this ring was a very special gift from Rob... I came up with a plan to get the ring out of the machine, if it had not already been lost... I took the clothes out one by one, rang them out and then kept doing it until the machine was empty... Still nothing.

I then had to go searching through the soapy water to find it and luckily, I happened upon it! Yay! So all is good, but I learned my lesson... Don't wear expensive jewelry around the washing machine... eh heh... As you can probably tell from the tone of this post I got my pills today! Yay!

I'm fucking done with Soma, though... Well maybe. I took about 8 of them yesterday and I got so fucked up and numb that I had to hurt myself again to regain feeling and get a grip back on reality... eh heh... I've really got to be more careful, it's so easy to just pop pills all day and not even realize how many you've taken until it's too late... A public service announcement from yours truly.

Well, that about does it for me for tonight, my darlings. I hope you're all having a great evening and a nice Thursday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Come on tomorrow morning!!!

2012-01-24T17:12:00.000-05:00

So I can take my fucking Percocet and get my new script! I'm already tired of this Soma shit as I've had another down day because of it... *Sigh* I hate having to go to Pain Care every single fucking week and having them piss test me, but at least I can get high for a couple days... eh heh...

There's not much going on in my world that didn't already happen yesterday... Although, I was able to drive Timothy back and forth to the bus stop today! Go me! XD I've been feeling really hungry all day, but I can't decide on what I want to eat... Oh well, dinner is soon...

Have a lovely evening, darlings! And a nice Wednesday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Another Soma Coma...

2012-01-23T17:18:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I forgot to mention that I picked up my new prescription for Soma when I went out to get Rob's football snacks... Well, I did and it has done a pretty good job at helping out with the pain and muscle spasms... However, I ran into a problem with it this morning and I'm still dealing with it as I type this...

Sometimes when I take this medication it puts me to sleep for long periods of time... I took two pills (instead of the one that I'm supposed to take) with my morning psych meds and after I got Timothy off to school, I began to feel its effects. It started with just lethargy and before I knew it, I was in and out of sleep on the couch...

Then it was time to get Timothy off the bus and I had to walk down to the bus stop because I was too impaired to drive... eh heh... Once I got him settled, it was back to napping on the couch and then Rob got home and he woke my ass up. I just took two more pills but I don't think that it will have the same effect as it usually doesn't do that twice in a row! ^^;

Well, that is all for now, my darlings... I hope you've had less cloudy days and a nice evening and a great Tuesday for all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

And Rob is happy 4 t3h w1n...

2012-01-22T18:48:00.000-05:00

Yes, it was football time once again this evening and the Patriots are officially in the Super Bowl... I actually went to the market to get him snacks and booze for the game today. It was nice to just be able to get out of the house for a change...

I'm happy that he's happy. I actually got into the game towards the end because it was so close! Of course, any depictions or descriptions of the game are prohibited by the NFL so I can't tell you exactly what happened! XD At least we're pretty much done with football until the first weekend of February... Yay!

I showed Rob the cuts that I did yesterday and he wasn't alarmed... He has this sixth sense about when I'm being sneaky or trying to conceal something. How could he not? His wallet used to go missing so I could go and buy drugs... eh heh... I didn't do a very good job of hiding it anyway... I kept yanking my sleeves down last night and I think he knew something was up. He wasn't upset, he just wants me to be safe when doing it. I reassured him that I know how to cut safely and he let it go... Guess I'm off the hook! <3

Well, that is all for now, my darlings. Have a lovely evening and a nice start to the new week! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

A moment of opportunity...

2012-01-21T16:42:00.000-05:00

To hurt myself yet again... *Sigh* I'm so low on pills that I've had to resort to self-harm to rid myself of some of the pain. I took the chance when Rob and Timothy went outside to clean some of the snow off of the cars earlier this afternoon... I haven't even told Rob about it yet...

I'm sure he'll see it or I'll bring it up sometime later tonight, but I feel like I'm letting him and everyone else down every time that I do this... I think it is a form of survival for me, honestly. If I need to feel something, cut. If I'm in pain without anything to relieve it, cut. If the world is feeling oppressive, cut... And so on...

I really wanted to get out today, but the weather did not permit it... I'm so fucking tired of snowstorms... *Sigh* Well, that is all for now... Have a lovely evening and a nice Sunday, all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

A "Dream infestation..." Me?!

2012-01-20T17:29:00.000-05:00

That is what Rob told me this morning... That I infest his dreams. I guess what's been happening is that he's been having a shit load of dreams that involve me in some way. You'd think that would be natural seeing as I sleep just inches away from him, but he thinks that it's sort of strange for some reason...

Apparently the reason he sees it as an "infestation" is because I'm a flirtatious tease in most of these dreams... I often make him chase after me and I always end up eluding him before he can seal the deal... eh heh... XD I'm curious... Does anyone else find this happening with their significant other? Hmm...

In other news, we got buried by snow last night into this morning... They were only calling for 3 to 5 inches but it ended up being more like a foot... Apparently the storm that has been plaguing the western part of the country is now headed this way and will clip us with some more of the white stuff tomorrow... Enough is enough already... *Sigh*

Well, that's all for me tonight, darlings... I hope you're all having a wonderful evening and a nice start to the weekend for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

The future is now uncertain...

2012-01-20T10:11:00.000-05:00

With regards to my music uploads... The government has shutdown and indicted MegaUpload, which is the service I usually use for the uploads... I know that there are other sites out there that offer file hosting, but I always thought MegaUpload to be the best. Not to mention, it's uncertain as to whether or not these other sites will come under fire with the downfall of MU...

Then there is the risk that I assume by uploading the files in the first place... Normally I don't fear any recourse because I try to keep it as anonymous as possible, but I'm actually contemplating if it's even worth it or not... I will keep you guys updated on any future news regarding file sharing... Have a lovely day... <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Whoops...

2012-01-19T18:08:00.000-05:00

I appear to be low on pills again... How did this happen? Well, I was in so much pain yesterday that I just popped them at will and here I sit with only a couple left to take... eh heh...

You see, I went shopping at Walmart yesterday and it absolutely killed my body. By the time I was done loading up the car, I was just ready to curl up and die... The pain just kept on coming on all day and night yesterday and I lost track... I got up this morning and looked inside my pill bottle and did a double take.

I need more pills, Frank! What the fuck is wrong with you?! 14 pills for a whole week?! What the fuck is that?! I really need to find a new doctor that will write me a better script... Although, I think next month I'll be back on a monthly script where he'll be weening me to one pill a day... You know I'm looking forward to that! ;)

Well, that's all for now, darlings... Not a very eventful day here. Have a lovely evening and a nice Friday! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

A black rose in protest...

2012-01-18T16:08:00.000-05:00

This is in protest of the two bills (PIPA and SOPA) that will go before congress... They are claiming that they want to end piracy but in reality are trying to censor the last bastion of freedom in this country - the internet... I know my voice means little to anyone, but I feel as though I have to say something...

Without so-called "Piracy" I would not know of any of the bands that I listen to... If they are to censor what we are allowed to say, then blogging in and of itself is useless... Fuck you United States Government! The people will not allow you to take away our constitutional rights! Please, if you believe that this is wrong, leave a comment... This blog is going dark for the rest of the day to protest this travesty...

+Rei Bathory+

My poor little legs...

2012-01-17T17:27:00.000-05:00

Yes, I have bitched and moaned about my deformed legs enough for thirty people... But they've begun to hurt a lot more frequently lately! :\ I had severe muscle spasms in them yesterday morning so bad that I ended up falling out of bed and rolling around on the floor crying...

My right calf muscle is still so knotted up that I can barely walk on it... Luckily Rob let me have some extra Percocet so that I could get around and function somewhat. Then there are the deformed knees that are being absolutely obliterated by this weather... I've had arthritis in them since I was a teenager and any time we get any type of weather change, they start to hurt even worse...

Besides my legs, Rob's brother stopped by today while I was home alone... He called beforehand and wanted to know if I could burn him some CD's... He and his girlfriend listen to rap and R&B, so that's what they wanted... I did that for them and I told them they owe me... I had to convert two of the albums from M4A to MP3 so I could burn them... *Sigh* Fucking iTunes and their formats... Why can't we just have one instead of the three million different formats that are out there?! >.<;

Well, that is all for now my little darlings... I hope you've all had a nice day and a lovely evening! A wonderful Wednesday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Drugs, where art thou?!

2012-01-16T17:24:00.000-05:00

I've had a little sliver of a Percocet today... It was okay for a little bit, but now my body is like "What the fuck?!" eh heh... I have more, I just have to ration them and I don't want Rob to get mad at me for taking them all and leaving him none... :\

I keep telling myself that I only have until Wednesday to go before I get my pathetic supply of 14 Percocet 5's... I really need to get the fuck away from this Pain Care place... I've actually thought about just taking what I've got left and blowing them off completely...

The only problem with doing that is the gap that it leaves before I can get anything else... Sure, Rob can buy them, but they're fucking expensive! If he didn't know the people that he buys them from he'd be paying $20 per pill... I don't know...

That's all for today, darlings... I don't have anything else to bitch about and today has been pretty average... I hope all of you have a lovely evening and a nice Tuesday for you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Again with the football...

2012-01-15T18:35:00.000-05:00

I know, guys watch football. That's what most of them do... Rob had to get as many snacks and drinks as possible for the Patriots game last night and he had himself a jolly old time... Of course, I was stuck watching two children who didn't want to go to bed... After I got them to go to bed, I was stuck watching the rest of the game with Rob. The Patriots won and they get to go to the AFC championship game next week! Yay! :\

But that was not the end of it, oh no! Today, after Marissa went back home, we got to watch another football game! We just had to find out who the Patriots will be playing next week... It turns out that it will be the Baltimore Ravens... So next week will be full of even more snacks and drinks and fanfare, just hopefully less children... At least without Marissa here, I can sew or something and Timothy can just bother Rob or even ask me for things instead of the two of them harping at the same time... eh heh...

Why do I put up with this football shit? Because Rob sacrifices so much for us and he wants me to be a part of one of his interests. I try my best, it just bores the hell out of me and no matter how many times the rules and regulations are explained to me, I just don't understand... *Sigh* I wish I could get into it... We both enjoy baseball thoroughly and we enjoy watching it together...

Well, that is my rant for the evenings, darlings... Have a lovely evening and a nice start to the new week! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Night of the Hellion Children part...I've lost count...

2012-01-14T18:05:00.000-05:00

Yes, we have Marissa overnight again because Timothy wanted her here... We had Jason for a little bit, but he slept for the majority of the time that he was here and his parents came back relatively quickly... I'm running on very little pain medication and I'm already at my breaking point... *Sigh*

As we speak they're being relatively good, but that could change in a heart beat... I don't feel like chasing kids around the house all night and I just want some peace and quiet... Rob did let me take a 3 hour nap earlier so that was nice. One of these days, Timothy is going to go over there and they can have a taste of hell... eh heh...

I injured myself again last night... You know, I'll be the first one to discredit a TV program having an impact on ones own actions, but it happened to me last night... I was watching "Lockup" on MSNBC last night and the inmates were talking about self-harm and how it gets them through daily life... Well, it seemed like a good idea to me and I went into the bathroom with a razor blade and did my arms up some more... It felt so fucking good because I was in so much pain...

Well, that is about all for now my darlings... I hope you're having a wonderful evening and a nice Sunday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

The tiredness returns...

2012-01-13T19:03:00.000-05:00

Ah, if only they'd call me and let me know what's wrong... How long does blood work take anyway? I didn't want to get out of bed this morning, wanted nothing to do with anything but sleep... I made sure Rob got off to work and took Timothy down to the bus, but then other shit got in the way of more beautiful sleep...

I had to call some utility companies and pay them money and then I had therapy... I talked about a possible hospitalization, but she didn't seem to want me to go. Instead, she suggested possibly making my life at home as routine and regimented as it is in a hospital... I don't know if that's possible or not... My life at home has its own routine, it's just not done at exactly the same time every day...

We had Marissa and Jason for a few hours this afternoon, too. Stephanie had to go to a doctor's appointment and Rob's brother was sleeping, so instead of him getting up with his kids, I got to stay awake with them! eh heh... Now it's just past 7:00 PM and I can't get to bed fast enough... I'll be up until about midnight at least, I just feel like I could drop into a dead sleep here and now...

Well, that is all I have for now, darlings... I hope all of you have had a wonderful day and a nice evening and a great start to the weekend for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

What better to do on a snowy day... TAKE PICTURES!!!

2012-01-12T19:44:00.000-05:00

Yeah, it was crappy weather today, so I decided to stay in... They never cancel school for the kids up here, so Timothy had to go and Rob wanted to work today. So, I was left all by my lonesome and I decided to snap these pictures for you guys! Yay! I hope you all enjoy them!

I'm still sticking with the black hair and mostly black clothes as of late, so I haven't deviated too much from the look I had on New Year's Eve... My favorite of these pictures is the one I took while laying on Timothy's bed... Can you tell which one that is? Hmm...?

Well, I don't have much else to share with you tonight, darlings... I hope you enjoy the photos! Have a lovely rest of your evening and a nice Friday, all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

SUICIDE ALI - THE COLD BODY (2012)

2012-01-11T21:18:00.000-05:00

Yes, I've been a bad girl... I did not buy this CD before uploading it... *Sigh* I really wanted to, but the funds just weren't there this month. After giving it a couple of listens, I think I may make a purchase in the future...

THE COLD BODY is about committing the perfect murder and how to get away with it. The title track itself is the shortest song on the single, however... It clocks in at just under three minutes, but I think it is a really strong song! Sequential soda is a bit of an oddball track, even for SUICIDE ALI... I don't know, it just feels really funky, but in a good way! Then there is the "Retake" of Ningen no Kaname which is probably the best track on the single. I love how it goes from being really hardcore to really mellow in just a matter of seconds! I guess you'll have to check it out to understand.

I hope you'll all give this little single a chance! Enjoy! <3 <3 <3 *SUICIDE ALI - THE COLD BODYTracklist:01. THE COLD BODY02. Sequential soda03. Ningen no Kaname (Retake)Download

How much more can I take?

2012-01-11T17:42:00.000-05:00

Of this bullshit from Pain Care...? I mean, they've cut me down to 14 Percocet 5's a week and I'm expected to make this pittance last... I'm down 7 pills from what I had last week and I hardly made that last! Hell, the only reason that it did was because Rob bought a bag of 30's and I've been taking those in place of the 5's...

In addition to this, I had to go and have my blood drawn at the doctor's office. It went fine, the blood lady and I are pretty much on a first name basis at this point... eh heh... It was only one tube that they had to take from me but hopefully it will tell what the hell is wrong with me...

And I'm so going to do something inspired by my darling Adrasteia now... She is recovering from some tooth fillings tonight so I figured that I'd do something for her... I am going to do a traffic rant! So get this... I was driving across a narrow bridge and all of a sudden this big white tractor-trailer truck comes speeding towards me! O.O; This guy was not even completely on his side of the road, and he was on a cell phone or CB radio or something while he was doing this... I kept flailing to try and get him on his side of the road and the douchebag just laughed and smiled at me! FUCKER! GAH! I hate truck drivers almost as much as I hate motorcyclists...

Well, I hope that is enough for tonight, darlings! Have a lovely evening and a nice Thursday, all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Thankful for Rob...

2012-01-10T19:09:00.000-05:00

Because he had the day off today... I didn't wake up until 12:30 PM today! O.O; I've felt awake most of the day since then, so maybe I've slept myself out. I really hope so, because I can't be doing this shit every day...

I have to go and get my blood drawn tomorrow to see if there is in fact anything wrong with my thyroid or any other type of illness... I'm actually sort of hoping that they find something, because if they do, they can treat it! Wouldn't that be wonderful?!

I finally managed to put the finishing touches on my mom's birthday dress, too! Yay! That took way too long, but at least it is done. Her birthday is on February 16th so now I have to let it sit around and I'll probably find a million things wrong with it in that time... Therefore, I will have to touch it up and fix them and add things, and it will become something that I want rather than something my mom would wear... eh heh... No, I'll put it out of sight so that I won't fuck around with it...

Well, that is all for tonight, darlings! Have a lovely evening and a nice Wednesday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Even the shots are making me tired...

2012-01-09T16:34:00.000-05:00

Yes, I got my nerve block shots today... I almost didn't get them, though. Frank asked me if I was having a headache at that particular moment and I said no, so he said that he couldn't do them unless I was having a headache... *Sigh* I then explained to him how far I travel to get there and that I'd just had a headache like two hours prior... (I didn't but I wasn't fucking leaving without those shots...)

He agreed to do them and I felt that lovely sensation of feeling like someone is digging around in your head with a hot shovel... After they do the injections, they make you sit around in the office for 10-15 minutes to make sure you're not having any adverse reactions to them... I was fine. Until I got out to the car...

I found myself starting to drift in and out of sleep on the ride home and I haven't felt right since... I took a short nap before I had to go and get Timothy off the bus and it was relaxing, but now the tired feeling is back... I don't know what the fuck this is, but it needs to go away...

I called my primary care doctor's office this morning to see if I could get a blood test, but I didn't hear back until later this afternoon and I wouldn't have made it in time... I suppose I'll go on Wednesday when I go to pick up my Percocet's from the pharmacy... I've really had it with doctor's visits, it seems like that's all I ever do...

Well, that's about all for this evening, darlings... Have a lovely evening and a nice Tuesday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Another day of tiredness...

2012-01-08T17:42:00.000-05:00

I still can't shake this tired feeling... *Sigh* I went to sleep at about 1:00 AM and I was back up at 11:00 AM, only to fall right back to sleep... Thing is, Rob's brother called and asked us to take Jason today so that they could do some serious cleaning over there and I was of no help whatsoever...

I slept until 3:00 PM today, sticking Rob with both Timothy and Jason for most of the day... I've been able to help out somewhat since then, but I feel so fucking guilty. Jason is still here and should be going home soon so things can at least return to normal... I'm just worried that I won't be able to get up in the morning to get Timothy off to school...

I also have an appointment with Frank tomorrow morning to get some more nerve blocks done in my head to stop these fucking headaches... Whether I'll be able to make it there on time remains to be seen. I'm also calling my doctor's office tomorrow to see if I can have some blood work done... I think it might be my thyroid that's causing all of these problems as my numbers were borderline last time they checked... Hopefully it'll all go away on its own, but I just don't seem to have that kind of luck lately...

Well, that's all for now. I hope you are all having a nice Sunday and a lovely start to the week for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Can't shake the sleepy's...

2012-01-07T17:01:00.000-05:00

Because that's pretty much all that I've done today... I was really tired all night last night and was in and out of sleep. I finally fell asleep for the night at around 1:00 AM... I got up at about 9:30 this morning but after peeing, I was back to sleep on the couch until about noon.

Rob's brother came over for a little bit and I was up for part of that, but I had to go upstairs and fall asleep again... I don't know what's up with this today! I haven't taken anything extra that would put me to sleep and I've slept pretty good the past few nights... *Sigh*

I feel like I could fall back to sleep right now, but I'm forcing myself to stay up. At the very least, I should probably make some dinner... I haven't really eaten much today, so maybe that's part of the problem... It'll be something easy, though, I can't be bothered with anything elaborate. XD

Well, I hope you're all having a more awake day than I am... Have a lovely evening and a nice Sunday, all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Chopped down again...

2012-01-06T16:54:00.000-05:00

Yeah, it's down to two pills a day starting next week... *Sigh* I really don't understand why he's doing this to me. I'm still going to be in pain after the pills are done and over with, so I'm interested to see what he comes up with after that... The appointment today was pretty much a waste of time anyway...

I got there and they took me in, took my blood pressure and asked if I'd been experiencing any new symptoms. I told the medical assistant that my knees had really been bothering me over the past two weeks, so they put that in the computer. Once Frank came in, it seemed like he couldn't get me out of there fast enough...

The conversation basically consisted of what was going on with my knees and the fact that he was still going to keep up the weekly scripts and be cutting me down a pill... The only good thing that came out of it was that I got a cream to put on my knees for when they're hurting badly... I got a sample tube as well as a prescription for when the sample runs out.

I called them back when I got home because I'd forgotten to ask about some more nerve block shots for my headaches... They scheduled me for Monday morning, so hopefully that will help. I also need to find out if I have to go in for a pill count next week, because they already gave me a script for next week's pills... I just can't keep everything in mind at once... eh heh...

Well, that's about all for now, my darlings. I hope you're all having a wonderful day and a nice start to the weekend for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

And One - 2006 Orkus Club Tour EP (2006)

2012-01-05T21:52:00.002-05:00

I picked this up on another blog last night and I got the chance to listen to it just a little while ago! This is a short bootleg EP from an Orkus Magazine (One of the premier European Gothic mags out there) sponsored tour. This had to have come out around the time that Bodypop did as two of the tracks are from that album. The quality is pretty good for a bootleg, except for the beginning of "Traumfrau." It seems as though Steve Naghavi's mic wasn't working or the recorder wasn't picking up the audio, because all you can hear is the music... But, other than that, this is a really good little piece of music! I hope you guys will check it out! <3 <3 <3 *And One - 2006 Orkus Club Tour EP Tracklist:01. Traumfrau02. Military Fashion Show03. Panzermensch04. Get You CloserDownload

+Rei Bathory+

Problems with my peepers...

2012-01-05T17:33:00.000-05:00

Well, not both of them, just one... You see, the other day Rob pointed out that my right eye looked funny. I asked him what he meant and he said that it was bloodshot and the pupil looked odd... I didn't think much of it at the time because I didn't feel different and my eyesight wasn't affected by it...

However, it did start to bother me today. After I'd gotten Timothy off the bus and got him settled, I put him in front of the TV with his after school snack and dozed off on the couch for about an hour... When I woke up, my vision was all blurry! O.O; I looked in the bathroom mirror and sure enough, it was bloodshot again and the pupil looked funny...

Everything was in doubles and I couldn't focus properly... I tried putting my glasses on, but it didn't help at all. Then I tried some eye drops and it helped a little... Since then, its completely gone away... I don't know what to do about this! There's nothing oozing out of my eye and considering how short-lived these episodes are, is it even worth going to see an eye doctor?!

I don't know. If it keeps up I suppose I don't have much of a choice... The last thing I need is for this to happen while I'm driving or something. Hopefully it will go away on its own and no medical attention will be needed... Speaking of medical attention, I have to go and see Frank tomorrow... I really have to try and talk him in to getting me on a monthly or biweekly script because this weekly shit is getting retarded... I've more than proven myself able to handle this and he's got to give me another shot...

Well, I'm off to go and fry up some hotdogs and make some French fries for dinner. Have a lovely evening and a nice Friday, all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Not this shit again...

2012-01-04T16:40:00.000-05:00

Today has been a mixture of good and bad for me... It seems as the day progresses, the bad is piling up more, though... *Sigh* First the good; I got my Percocet's from Pain Care! Yay! I have to go back on Friday for my appointment with Frank, and HOPEFULLY he'll put me back on a monthly script... I'd even settle for biweekly at this point...

Now the bad... First of all, I had a dissociative episode last night and I'm still shaken up by what I did to myself to snap out of it... I got in the shower and turned the water temperature up all the way and allowed it to burn my skin... I now have second degree burns on my right arm and my back... :\ I had to call my psychiatrist today and luckily she was able to squeeze me in tomorrow so hopefully we can work something out on that end... So I suppose that's another good thing...

The worst part of today has just started to come on within the last couple of hours, though... The bronchial symptoms are returning with fury! >.<; My lungs are so full of shit and I run out of breath just from going up and down the stairs again... I really hope that with the antibiotics and the Advair from last time I can knock this shit back out before it turns too serious again...

And I just wanted to say thank you to my mom for sending me a late Christmas present today... I got a new corset from PureOne! It is the same company that Darkest Labyrinth and Starwave Records use for their corsets! I love it to death! Luckily Google has a page translator so she could order it up! <3 I will try and model it as soon as I feel better...

Have a lovely evening and a nice Thursday, all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Back to the New Year's Eve look...

2012-01-03T18:04:00.000-05:00

Yes, I've gone back to how I looked on New Year's Eve because Adrasteia loved it so much! And Rob, too! Yay! If you're wondering what I'm looking at, it was Juliet tinkering with a strand of Christmas lights that I'd just taken off the Christmas tree... I hope you guys like this photo! Who can point out what's different in this one?! XD Yeah, it's the headband... I always have to have something on my pretty little head! ;)

Speaking of the Christmas tree, it is now history! Well, sort of... I took it down and threw it out in the backyard... eh heh... I had some company this morning in the form of Mr. Jason... His parents had to go to WIC to get his coupons or whatever and they asked me to babysit... I had so much fun playing with him and his new Christmas toys! He's such a happy baby and I couldn't have asked for a better time... He makes me laugh, too. <3Also, my new games came in today! I had to wait until Rob got home to get them because I was babysitting, so I haven't had a chance to play either of them yet... They look really cool, though! <3 Rob also brought home some Percocet 30's with him today, so I'm sort of buzzing right now... eh heh... I couldn't take Jason to Pain Care today, so I have to wait until tomorrow to get my pills. I did make sure to call and have Frank get my script ready. I have a whole 2 pills to bring with me tomorrow... Thank Christ for those pills Rob brought home... eh heh... >.>

Well, that's all for now, darlings! I hope you enjoy the photo and are having a lovely evening and a nice Wednesday for you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Ninja video games inducing sleep...

2012-01-02T18:31:00.001-05:00

I've been playing Ninja Gaiden 2 again and I'm back on level 8. It's about half way through the game and I got to the part where you're in a room with all of these giant gears... Aside from being attacked from incindiary shuriken throwing ninjas while on the gears, it is incredibly easy to fall off of them and end up back at the bottom of the room... *Sigh*

I know I shouldn't let him watch me play that game, but Timothy doesn't seem phased by the violence in it... He eventually got bored with watching my failed attempts at climbing the gears and went away... I, however, was determined and I couldn't stop, or so I thought...

Eventually, I started to get this vertigo feeling from watching the gears spin and I had to shut it off. Not 30 minutes later was I asleep because my head wouldn't stop spinning... GAH! I literally just woke up and I don't know whether I should return to the game or not... It might help if I wore my glasses like I'm supposed to, though... eh heh...

Well that's all for now, my darlings... I hope you've all had a wonderful day and a nice evening for you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Getting back to normal...

2012-01-01T18:10:00.000-05:00

Well, New Year's day is nearly over and so are the holidays... I'm a bit sad to see them go, but I'm also looking forward to the future. Marissa went home about 2 hours ago and we're all just having a quiet evening here at home.

New Year's Eve was awesome! The kids were really into the whole ball dropping thing on TV and it didn't take long to get them to sleep afterwards. Then it was time for Rob and I to have some fun and we did... ^^; The only thing that sucked about last night was that I forgot that champagne gives me restless legs syndrome when taking it with my pills, so I was up later than Rob...

I hope all of you had a wonderful New Year's Eve and a nice day today! I'll be back tomorrow with hopefully something of more substance... Its just been a quiet day and I don't have much to talk about... Have a lovely rest of your holiday and a nice start to the new week! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

2012-01-01T00:07:00.001-05:00

Welcome to 2012, my darlings! I hope all of you welcome in the new year in a happy way just like I just did! I got my big kiss from Rob and now it is time to put the childrens to bed and have New Year's sex! Have a great New Year everyone! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Happy New Year's Eve!

2011-12-31T18:54:00.000-05:00

Yep, that's me! All ready for my big New Year's Eve party (well, it's just Rob, Timothy and Marissa...) and my kiss from Rob! Yay! I haven't started drinking yet, but that will be occurring within the coming hours... I can't wait for 2012 to get here!

I hope you're all having a lovely time with friends and family and are ready for the ball drop! WOOOO!!!!!!!!

+Rei Bathory+

New games, new goals, and new pictures...

2011-12-30T15:41:00.000-05:00

Yes, this is what I wore out today... I've really been feeling a more goth look as of late, which I think is a good thing! Rob has been telling me that I should show more boob in my pictures, so there you go, for those who care... XD These photos were taken in my creative room, if you're wondering what some of the stuff in the background is... I hope you guys like the new photos! ^^

I bought a couple of games shortly after getting up this morning... The weather sucked today, so I couldn't get to Littleton to go shopping, so I bought two games from Gamestop's website... I got Dead Rising 2: Off the Record and King of Fighters XIII... I got KoF XII for Christmas, but it is just so bare bones and I need more out of a fighter. Apparently, the sequel is much more fleshed out... I can't wait until they come in! Hopefully they'll ship this afternoon/evening and I'll have them Monday or Tuesday...

And then there was therapy this morning... I have a new goal to work towards a few times a week. I have to go outside and take a short walk and clear my head. This came about from me talking to her about my life feeling routine and this was her suggestion... I also talked about some larger goals, such as traveling, getting a new computer, and possibly taking online college courses... She said that I should start putting money aside every month and working towards these as well... One suggestion was to start a jar and put cash in every time I take one of these walks... We'll see, I guess...

Well, that's all for now... I must be getting back to sewing and I should probably take some of this makeup off... eh heh... Have a lovely evening and a nice start to the holiday weekend! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Too tired...

2011-12-29T19:26:00.000-05:00

To bother with anything today, really... I haven't worked on my mom's dress, haven't played any music, nothing... I've just been laying around watching TV and keeping Timothy busy when need be. It's not like I'm sleep deprived or anything, I've been getting plenty, I just have no energy today... *Sigh*

I suppose the only good in this is that it gives me something to talk about in therapy tomorrow... It's actually kind of a good thing that Rob's brother and family lives right up the street, so Timothy doesn't have to sit in a waiting room by himself. They've kindly offered to take him for an hour. In exchange, Marissa will be sleeping over sometime this weekend... That should be fun... eh heh...

I think I'm going to buy a couple of video games tomorrow... Originally, I was going to buy Skyrim, but I don't want it anymore... Oblivion just sucked so much life out of me, I can't let a game dominate my life like that again... I don't know exactly what I want yet, but I have a Gamestop gift card that I plan on using so that I don't have to pay full price for everything that I buy...

Well, that's about all for now... I hope you're all having a nice evening and a lovely Friday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Just made it...

2011-12-28T17:16:00.000-05:00

Yes, I got my drugs today! I was a little nervous in venturing out at first because the weather was a little rough... What's worse is that Timothy is on school vacation and I had to take him, too, so I didn't want both of us to die because I'm a fucking addict... eh heh... But it turned out to be fine.

It was all slushy out in the parking lot and it was sleeting outside but once we got on the road it wasn't too bad... As we neared Plymouth, the rain/sleet/whatever started to let up and it only took me about 5 minutes in the store, so we were right back on the way home in no time. It started to snow heavily within about 30 minutes of us getting home, so we timed it absolutely perfectly!

I'm continuing to make progress on my mom's dress for her birthday and I'm starting to get used to the Stratocaster so I can play all of my songs again! Yay! I really have nothing going for the rest of the week other than to maybe go out and spend some gift cards later this week after I get paid... I'll let you know if I make any cool purchases!

Well, that's all for now. I hope all of you are having a nice evening and a lovely Thursday for all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

A messy day ahead...

2011-12-27T17:42:00.000-05:00

Well, actually it's going to start this evening... There's a huge storm moving in that's currently bringing us mixed precipitation and is going to change over to heavy rain later tonight... Then it is going to go away for awhile and bring snow to our region of New Hampshire sometime tomorrow... *Sigh* I'm so sick of fucking weather...

We had our white Christmas and it was a thing of beauty, but it was also hell when we had to go over to Rob's brother's place and back... God forbid the state workers do anything on Christmas day... These stupid fucking rednecks up here probably think it's some sort of sin to work on Jesus' birthday... eh heh...

I had to go to Pain Care and pick up my script today only to have to venture out into whatever weather we're having tomorrow to get the fucking pills... They only had one person working at Pain Care today, the receptionist, Lisa... I felt bad for her, having to sit in a doctor's office doing nothing all day by herself... Hell, my script was the only one in the little box... :\ Oh well...

If you do not hear from me tomorrow, I was fatally wounded in a car crash because Frank is too much of a pigfucker to give me my pills a day early... eh heh... I hope all of you are having a lovely evening and a nice Wednesday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

The day after...

2011-12-26T16:45:00.000-05:00

We've all had a nice relaxing day after Christmas today. Timothy even slept in so Rob and I didn't have to get up early! Yay! When we finally did all get up, I made us breakfast while Timothy rummaged for his remaining toys that were under the tree...

He got so much yesterday... His favorite was the new Kirby game for Wii that Rob and I got him, though. He literally jumped up and down and then ran half way up the stairs when he opened it! XD I couldn't imagine Christmas without him... It's just not the same without kids, they make it so magical! <3

I've just been taking it easy for most of the day today... I'm still feeling a bit depressed that I didn't get that dress done for my mom in time... :\ I will finish it soon and she can have it for her birthday which isn't too far away! I've watched the Tranenherz DVD twice and I just can't get enough of it... They did such a beautiful job making it! The setlist is perfect, too! Then there is my new guitar which I am having a bit of trouble adjusting to... I'm so used to the Warlock's design that I'm having a bit of trouble with the Stratocaster... :\ It is a beautiful piece of machinery, though! I love it to death and I can't believe my parents spent that much on one thing for me! O.O;

Ah, now the new year approaches and I can't wait to see what it brings... Things are looking up for now and I hope they stay that way! I hope all of you are enjoying your gifts and are having a nice evening! A lovely Tuesday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!

2011-12-25T16:21:00.001-05:00

I just wanted to take some time out of my holiday to come on here and wish everyone a Merry Christmas! I hope that you're all having a wonderful holiday full of cheer and merriment with you and your families! <3 I have been having a wonderful time with mine! I got a new electric guitar! Yay! We just got back from Rob's brother's house and exchanged gifts with them and had Christmas dinner! It's been such a lovely day... <3 I'm off to watch the Tranenherz Live DVD now! Bye! Merry Christmas! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Christmas Eve pictures!

2011-12-24T13:44:00.000-05:00

So yeah, I got a little drunk last night, hence the sunglasses... eh heh... It's the holidays and I feel as though celebration is in order! ;) I know that I usually wear a nice Christmas dress or something, maybe tomorrow, but it's all black today... I hope you're all having a lovely Christmas Eve day and a special night for all of you! And have a great Christmas, everyone! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

All ready for Xmas...

2011-12-23T19:40:00.000-05:00

Yep, there's pretty much nothing left to do! All gifts are wrapped, all decorations put up, and I've prepared several dishes for Christmas dinner! Yay! I'm so excited to be spending Christmas here with Rob and Timothy! I know it won't be the huge Christmas that I'm used to while being at home, but it's nice to be with my own family on that special day! ^^

I hope all of you are going to have an awesome Christmas with you and yours, too! I don't really have much to blog about tonight so I will be going now... Have a lovely evening and a nice Christmas Eve day! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

My soda supplier...

2011-12-22T17:43:00.000-05:00

I'm addicted to a certain soda... Yeah, go figure, there's something else that I'm addicted to... XD That certain soda is Mountain Dew Game Fuel. It only comes out on a limited basis every other year or so. However, it is nearly impossible to find in New Hampshire.

Before I left Massachusetts in 2009, it had just come out again and I drank it like it was going out of style... I would go to the convenience store and buy 5 or 6 bottles at a time. Then when I got up here, I couldn't find it anywhere! I was very saddened by this... Now it is out again and luckily, I've found a store up here that sells it!

I actually just got back from buying more. It's sold at a little Mobil gas station and they're having a deal on it! I bought the last 5 that they had and hopefully they'll have more in stock for me to buy when I run out again! XD If you've never tried Game Fuel, I would highly recommend it! There are two flavors out that I know of this time around. The traditional Citrus Cherry (my favorite) and a lemon lime one that I don't really care for... They had a blue one out last time around, but I'm not sure if it's still available...

Well, wasn't this an interesting post?! XD Shows you how much is going on in my world at the moment... I hope you all have been having a nice day and a nice evening and a great Friday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

The family stays home...

2011-12-21T18:04:00.000-05:00

New Hampshire as a whole could only be defined as "a mess" this morning. We had a wintry mix overnight and just about every road in the state was a sheet of ice... Rob will drive in just about anything, but he refused to go anywhere this morning. You'd also think that a school bus would be safe to get Timothy out, but the road's were THAT bad. So we had a nice family day today! ^^

Rob and I wrapped Christmas presents while Timothy played and I took too much Promethazine again, so I passed out for awhile! XD We also watched the news and saw all the hell that was going on with the roads today... Highways closed due to accidents, school buses slipping off of roads, our town's police chief even ended up on top of a car that slid into him! O.O;

Luckily the temps are on the rise and the ice should melt pretty soon... Tomorrow is supposed to be much better and thankfully I can get out and get my Percocet's! We wouldn't want me not to have them, would we?! XD Friday is our best chance for snow and even though it's supposed to be more intense further south of us, we should still have our white Christmas! Yay!

Well, that's all for tonight... I hope all of you have a lovely evening and a nice Thursday for everyone! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Serious cough killers...

2011-12-20T18:44:00.000-05:00

Went back to the doctor's today and I made out like a fucking bandit! My doctor knew that he'd fucked up by giving me just Bactrim and an inhaler last time, so he was not going to do me wrong yet again. I got the Advair inhaler to go along with the inhaler that I already have, an antibiotic that I can't pronounce and Promethazine cough syrup! Woohoo!!!!

Promethazine is one of the strongest and most sought after cough medications on the planet... It makes you high as fuck and I actually just woke up from a Promethazine coma... eh heh... It's too bad that I actually need it because it has a very high street value! :\

Then I had to go to Pain Care after the doctor's office to pick up my script from Frank... Once again, I had to take a piss test so apparently my "graduation" was for one day only... I asked them if I could please fill the prescription today so I didn't have to drive back to Plymouth tomorrow and they wouldn't fucking do it! Goddamn Frank... *Sigh*

Well, that's all for me for tonight... I hope all of you are having a nice evening and a wonderful Wednesday for you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Back home with bruised ribs...

2011-12-19T17:58:00.000-05:00

Yep, Timothy and I made it home all right this afternoon... Luckily we got on the road before rush hour and the drive was smooth sailing for most of the way. Of course, I had to stop and pee and Timothy was hungry so I got him a donut... The only downside to the drive home was my coughing fits...

This bronchitis is seriously still fucking with me! I've been coughing so much and so hard that I think I've bruised my ribs... It hurts so goddamn bad to cough and I can't do anything about it! Even the Percocet only takes a slight edge off! I don't know what to do about this... I could go to the emergency room, but the most they're going to do is wrap me up, which I can do myself...

I just hope that this all goes away in time for Christmas... I really don't want to be hacking up a lung on Christmas day... Speaking of Christmas, there is a chance that we're going to be having a nice white Christmas this year! Yay! You might think that in the northeast we have them all the time, but it really is a rare occurrence...

Well, I hope you're all having a nice day/evening and a lovely Tuesday for all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Damn men...

2011-12-18T19:52:00.000-05:00

Yes, why do I put up with these creatures? They are useful for so little and are distracted so easily... Let's take today for example. Rather than spend more time with his female family members, Michael took to the living room TV with my father to watch the Patriots game... eh heh...

And no, Rob is not innocent either... Instead of spending time with me and our son, he took off with his friends to go and watch the same stupid game! BAH! What is so fucking great about this football game?! Every goddamn Sunday for months on end time stops for this game... I do not get it...

Today was Timothy and mom day for me, I guess... We didn't do a whole lot, but it was time well spent, I think! Better than watching football! We walked down the street and looked at the different setups in people's yards as I popped pain killers because my back was killing me... eh heh...

Tomorrow it is back to New Hampshire for Timothy and I... Rob will be spending the entire day in Mass because he has to work and then he will be back in New Hampshire sometime tomorrow evening.

Well, that is all for now... I hope you all had a lovely weekend and a nice start to the week for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Back to my home away from home... Or is it the other way around?

2011-12-17T19:04:00.000-05:00

Whatever the case may be, I am back at my parents house for the weekend! Ah, the memories... A suicide attempt here, a fight with a family member there, these are the things that one should never forget! XD As per the usual, my folks have the house decorated to the nines for the holidays.

Rob is at his moms place with Timothy and I won't see them again until tomorrow... It feels nice just being here with my parents. Michael will be coming to visit with us all in the morning! Yay! I will have Timothy tomorrow while Rob goes and hangs out with some of his friends down here... Unfortunately, I do not have any of those left... Probably better that way, though.

It feels so good to be using a fully functioning computer, too! <3 I've been snooping around the tree and there are no computer sized boxes with my name on them... :\ Maybe it's a laptop or something! XD I do know that there is a lot of stuff under there that DOES have my name on it and I can't wait to open it all up! ^^

Well, I'm off to go help mommy dearest with dinner and then we're going to watch a movie... I hope you're all having a nice evening and a lovely Sunday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Back in Therapy...

2011-12-16T18:33:00.000-05:00

After a weeks delay, I finally got to see my new therapist today! I was a bit skeptical after talking to her over the phone, but she's much better to talk to in person... As with all first time therapy appointments, it's a feeling out process and getting to know one another, so I didn't really get into anything deep... I do like her and I think it might actually work out this time! Yay!

I had to go to Plymouth after my appointment because I was waiting for a couple of packages to still come in... There are pluses to ordering things online, but it's not great if you have deadlines to meet... (Birthdays, Christmas, etc.) I did get the last of the packages I was waiting for, though, so it's all good! I've got just about everything wrapped that I need to bring to Mass with me, however, I was making my mom a dress that I simply could not get done in time... *Sigh* I was really counting on this being her "big" gift from me and it just didn't happen... I feel so rotten about it...

Speaking of feeling rotten, I still don't feel well because of the bronchitis... I've got this nasty cough still going and I'm still finding myself short of breath on occasion... Not to mention, my sinuses are all fucked up and it's just not the time for me to be traveling... But, I must, so I will.

Well, I hope you're all having a nice day/evening and I will be around this weekend when I get the chance! Until then, have a lovely weekend, all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

All decorated!

2011-12-15T17:24:00.000-05:00

Yep, we got our Christmas tree situation settled and it's all decorated and ready for the big day! ^^ The house has ornaments and other festive thingamajigs all over it and we are ready for Christmas! w00t! I'm so excited for Christmas this year! Rob, Timothy and I are going down to Massachusetts this weekend to visit our families and do Christmas there. I don't think I'll get to open any of my gifts until Christmas morning, though... :\

We've decided to do this because we didn't want to be away from home this year. We think that it's only fair to Timothy that he gets to open his presents from Santa in his own house... Speaking of Santa, I've had to explain to him more than once that he really does exist because all of these older fuckheads that he goes to school with are telling him otherwise... That's how it got ruined for me... I was at lunch one day when I was 8 or 9 and some kid told me that there was no Santa... I think Timothy deserves at least a couple more years of believing in him...

Not much else going on with me, though... I got that blood pressure pill situation straightened out with the pharmacy, so I can go out and pick them up tomorrow! Well, I hope you're all having a lovely evening and a nice Friday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree...

2011-12-14T17:04:00.000-05:00

Yes, we ended up getting our tree today! Yay! Rob, Timothy and I went out this afternoon and ran some errands and then picked up our tree on the way home! It's not the biggest tree in the world, but it is very full and it smells great! ^^ It was quite a pain getting it to go in the stand, though... *Sigh*

The stem was not cut low enough so we had to remove a bunch of branches from the bottom to get it in there... I'm still deciding as to whether or not I like it where it's at and whether or not it looks crooked... I'm so anal about things like this! XD And this tree seems to have come with insects... They're nothing bad, just these little black gnat things that I keep seeing here and there... I suppose that's what you get when you get a $15 tree that's been sitting outside for god knows how long... eh heh...

I'm having another issue with pills, too... This time it is not Percocet, but one of my blood pressure pills. I called the pharmacy and used the automated system to try and refill them, but it told me that I had no refills left... The bottle says that I have three refills, but apparently their computer system is still screwed up. I have enough pills to get me through the next four days, but now I have to call my doctor's office and get them to send over a new fucking script... I swear, I have no luck whatsoever with pills of any kind... *Sigh*

Well, that's all for me. I have to go and make dinner, wrap some Christmas presents, and get the tree decorations out... I probably won't start decorating until Rob gets home from work tomorrow... I hope you all have a wonderful evening and a nice Thursday for everyone! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Graduation revoked?!

2011-12-13T16:32:00.000-05:00

Remember how last week I told you that I'd graduated from taking piss tests every time that I go and have my pills counted? Well, apparently that is not the case anymore because they tested me again today... I know that I'll pass because Rob bought those 30's a few days ago and I've been snacking on those, so there's no problem, but I just feel lied to... :\

I am still all rundown and shitty feeling from this bronchitis and I really should have stayed home today... If they'd stop making me go for these damn counts every week, I could have. I ran a few errands as well and that didn't help either. I got more Christmas presents at the post office and I had to pick up a few things at Walmart, too. And of course, fuck forbid they let me fill my script today... I have to go and get it tomorrow... *Sigh*

We're most likely going out tomorrow evening to get our Christmas tree! I can't wait! Even though I feel shitty, that scent and the thought of decorating with Rob and Timothy makes me feel like a kid again! <3 I looked at a few trees today, but they were way overpriced and too big for our living room anyway... Hopefully we'll be able to find something suitable!

Well, I must be going now... I have to start dinner and then hopefully I can lay back down and spend the rest of the night watching TV... Have a lovely evening and a nice Wednesday, all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Diagnosis: Bronchitis...

2011-12-12T16:36:00.000-05:00

Yep, I went to the doctor's today to find out what the hell is the matter with me... (If there's not enough already... eh heh...) Before I even got to see the doctor, I had to have more blood drawn via order from my psychiatrist... They took four tubes out of me to check my depakote levels and some other things...

I'm getting really fed up with going to this doctor's office as they're becoming habitually late for appointments. My appointment was scheduled for 11:30 and it wasn't until almost noon that I got to see the doctor! The appointment didn't really last long, either. I described my symptoms and he checked me out and then we talked prescriptions...

I'm now on Bactrum and an inhaler... I have to take the antibiotic for 10 days and I can use the inhaler as needed. Hopefully I'll be able to knock this shit out of my system with these two medications as I hardly slept last night... I must have woken up at least 10 times in choking fits from this damn Bronchitis... *Sigh*

Well, I hope all of you are more on the healthy side and are having a wonderful day! Have a great evening and a nice Tuesday for all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Sickness can bring me down, but it can't stop a great photo (or two)...

2011-12-11T13:47:00.001-05:00

What do you think? Is that not totally kick ass gothyness or what?! I feel like such shit that I needed a pick-me-up and this totally did it for me! It is Sunday, bloody Sunday... hehehe... I haven't taken a really goth looking picture for this blog in quite some time, so I hope you guys like them! And I hope that my mom buys me a lot of makeup for Christmas, because these photos took a lot of it to get this look down right... eh heh...

Well, not much else going on... I'm watching a Law and Order SVU marathon on USA and I think I might go out later in my chosen garb... Have a lovely rest of your Sunday and a great start to the week! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Pneumonia?!

2011-12-10T16:50:00.000-05:00

I think I might have it... Remember how I was sick for a few days last week? Well, the congestion in my head and lungs never fully went away and now I feel like shit again... I woke up this morning coughing my fucking brains out and I could barely catch my breath... Going up the stairs feels like running a marathon because I run out of breath... eh heh...

I plan on calling my doctor's office on Monday to see if I can get in to see someone... I've had pneumonia and bronchitis too many times in my life to fuck around with this. The only thing that's working for me at the present time is this Icy Hot vapor rub stuff that I put on my chest... It relieves the symptoms for a short time, but it doesn't fully get the job done.

We had some company this morning and afternoon with Jason coming over for a visit. He's grown so much since the last time he was here! He's eating baby food now, he can grasp things for long periods of time, and he is much more vocal and less whiny... I loved having him and I was sad to see him go! His parents and Marissa went out to get their Christmas tree, so that's why we had him... We should have our tree by early next week sometime! <3

Well, I hope you're all having a nice evening and a lovely Sunday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Damn these drugs!

2011-12-09T18:38:00.000-05:00

My afternoon medications (which include the new 1 MG Klonopin) and a Percocet have done it to me again! I was fine for a short while after taking them, but after I got back in the house with Timothy, it was back to sleep for me... eh heh... I don't know what this is all about! It's kind of scary, actually...

The worst part of it was after Rob got home and he and Timothy wanted their cheeseburgers that I'd promised to cook for them last night... I was so fucking out of it near the stove and I honestly don't know how I managed to cook and be half asleep at the same time... XD They were pleased with what I'd made them, though, so I guess I can still do things while drugged. That's at least one plus!

Before all of this, I managed to get out this morning and early afternoon to do some Christmas shopping! I bought little Jason a stuffed sock monkey which I probably could have made myself, but it was only 5 dollars and it would have cost me more than that in materials... I also got my mom a Snoopy doll that plays Christmas music... It was one of those Hallmark deals where you buy three cards and you get it at a discounted price... I like those because it kills two birds with one stone. You get your Christmas cards that need to be sent out and a nice gift for a little over $20...

Well, that's all for now... I'm off to go and clean my greasy frying pan and then it's back to those homemade Xmas gifts... I've got so much left to do and I have so little time... *Sigh* Have a lovely evening and a great start to the weekend! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Oh, how I love my Rob!

2011-12-08T19:19:00.000-05:00

He bought a shitload of Percocet 30's today and I'm flying high right now! YAY! ^^; I also talked to my psychiatrist this afternoon about my anxiety problems with these pill counts, and she helped me out! I don't know if she's actually going to talk to Frank, but she did increase my Klonopin to 1 MG instead of just the .5 like I had before!

You know, I've been more effected by drugs lately... It seems like my body's tolerance to them has really weakened... I took 3 Klonopin's this afternoon (1.5 MG) and it knocked me the fuck out! I don't know what's going on with this shit! I hate being put on my ass by drugs unless I intend to do just that!

I felt so bad for poor Timothy... I put his TV shows on for him and gave him a bunch of food and drinks, but he just wanted to talk to me... So every 20 minutes or so he'd be like "Mommy, mommy wake up!" and I'd sit up and talk to him and fall back to sleep shortly thereafter... eh heh... I'm so up for mother of the year this year! ;) He did handle it well, though, and I'm proud of him. He knows what to do in an emergency and it wasn't too too long before Rob got home, so...

Well, I'm off to go and play Wii with my baby and then it'll be bedtime for him. Then it's off to sew and probably listen to a bunch of music... Have a lovely evening and a nice Friday, all of you! <3 <3 <3

+Rei Bathory+

BLOOD - SPLEEN ~Despair~ (2006)

2011-12-08T11:12:00.000-05:00

Another upload that is owed to Adrasteia, here is the BLOOD mini-album that I received in the mail yesterday! SPLEEN ~Despair~ was the first release in BLOOD's LES FLEURS DU MAL concept series. I actually have a correction to make from yesterday's description of it. The words in the booklet aren't the lyrics in French, they're actually the original poems for which the songs on this release are based! They're in French, as is everything else on the CD casing... (Including the copyright information... eh heh...)

I love everything about this release. This is arguably some of BLOOD's best work in their history! Some of you may recognize these songs from the LES FLEURS DU MAL album that I uploaded awhile back, but there are differences between these tracks and their full album counterparts. The biggest difference lies in LES LITANIES DE SATAN as it's more of a metal track than the "industrial version" that was featured on the album.

I wish I could share the photos from the booklet as they are incredibly beautiful! They feature the band members in a snowy European graveyard and I think the imagery compliments the music well! Whatever the case, if you don't have this yet, I urge you to get it now! ^^

BLOOD - SPLEEN ~Despair~

Tracklist:

01. SPLEEN
02. LE REVENANT
03. DANSE MACABRE
04. LES LITANIES DE SATAN
05. L'IRREPARABLE

Download

Blutengel - Nachtbringer (2011)

2011-12-08T10:36:00.000-05:00

All of you who download this from me can thank Adrasteia for this upload... She is the one who requested it and you know that I cannot say no to my darling... ^^ Chris Pohl has completely stunned me with this release. Why? Because this is Blutengel's second album in under a year. First we had Tranenherz in February and now this late in the year...

This is definitely not a rush job either. The quality of these tracks is as good as anything Blutengel has ever done and I think that you'll all enjoy what's offered on this release. There are 8 new songs, 3 demo tracks from 2009 and a live version of the Blutengel classic - Black Roses. The latter makes me cry every time that I hear it because it is just so beautifully done! It also happens to be the 10th anniversary of the release of the song, so...

I hope that if you're a seasoned Blutengel fan or a newbie, you'll grab this up! There is something for everyone here and you will most certainly not be disappointed! Enjoy!

Blutengel - Nachtbringer

Tracklist:

01. Nachtbringer
02. Out of Control
03. Time (there's nothing more)
04. Anders sein
05. Wir sind die Nacht
06. Another World
07. Voices
08. Am Ziel
09. Like a shadow (demo 2009)
10. Color of the night (demo 2009)
11. Still standing (demo 2009)
12. Black Roses (live 2011)

Download

Starting to decorate, thanks to Percocet...

2011-12-07T18:51:00.000-05:00

Yep, I got my pills today! Yay! I've spent much of today in the house decorating for Christmas! I've got just about all of my decorations out on display... The only thing that's really left to do is to go out and buy a Christmas tree and decorate that, too! I've gone a bit overboard with the pills, though... eh heh...

I've taken like 7 of them already and I'm not even supposed to start them until tomorrow... However, Rob is planning on buying some within the next couple of days because I've been sharing with him, too. That way I can be pain free and have enough pills for next week's count! ;)

I also received my second CD Baby package today! I placed an order for 3 items, but BLOOD's "SPLEEN ~Despair~" mini-album had to ship from a separate warehouse, so it took an extra day. It was worth it, though! I'm tired of hearing how Kiwamu and BLOOD treat their fans like shit... This mini-album came with a bonus promotional disc for VENGEANCE for BLOOD LIMITED EDITION and the booklet is fucking packed with photos! Not to mention, all of the song lyrics in the booklet are done in French because this concept was based on LES FLEURS DU MAL, so BLOOD's French fans got a treat! It also includes a pamphlet which houses the English and Japanese lyrics for the songs... Yeah, they're fucking awful, huh? eh heh...

Well, that's about all for this evening... If anyone would like SPLEEN ~Despair~ uploaded, please let me know... I hope you're all having a nice evening and a wonderful Thursday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Croix Allcine - Hanani Shizumu Musougetsu (2000)

2011-12-07T13:53:00.000-05:00

I got it to rip! This CD is a piece of history in a lot of ways... This was Kiwamu's first band as well as the first CD to be released from his "Cure" label which is now Darkest Labyrinth and Starwave Records. As you all should know by now, I am a huge Kiwamu fan and once I saw this album available for purchase, I had to have it.

Croix Allcine is probably best defined as a Gothic Rock/Visual Kei band. Their sound is somewhat reminiscent to old school MALICE MIZER as well as other VK bands from the early VK boom period. There is nothing grand here, it is fairly simple stuff. But it is very pretty, in my opinion. The band was made up of Ceria (Vocals), Kiwamu (Guitar), and Synfd (Vocals & Bass). It's pretty weird that Kiwamu never had a drummer in any of his bands until the 4th incarnation of BLOOD... eh heh...

I hope you'll all give this little piece of history a listen! Even if you're not a huge Kiwamu fan, I think you'll enjoy what is offered here!

Croix Allcine - Hanani Shizumu Musougetsu

Tracklist:

01. Retrace
02. Meteor
03. Any colors of dream
04. Hanani Shizumu Musougetsu (instrumental)

Download

HimemaniK - Ruler (2011)

2011-12-06T19:52:00.000-05:00

My darlings, I am in complete fucking awe of what I've just experienced... Never have I seen a band go from such one extreme to another in a period of two years. I am, of course, talking about HimemaniK's new mini-album - Ruler. If you think that this is just Wanna Be A Figurine with a new vocalist, you're dead wrong... Manik and Ayame Minazuki have refined this band to a fucking T and have given me new hope for the Japanese electronic scene!

Let's face facts, Himemiya Mio sounded like a 12 year old Jpop singer, it's just true. I loved her voice, but I had to be in the mood for it. Ayame's voice is so much more grown up and dynamic and she is so incredibly beautiful physically and vocally! Manik has grown, too! No longer just making upbeat party songs, this mini is quite different, to be sure!

Musically, this is so much more ethereal and mellow than Wanna Be A Figurine... I was just swaying to the music and the vocals! I will say it again and again; Darkest Labyrinth is the BEST industrial label on the fucking planet! They have such talent and variety and this just proves my point even more! I really hope that people will give this a chance. Whether you heard Wanna Be A Figurine or you didn't, forget about it. This is great electronic music that just cannot, CANNOT be missed! I'm going to shut up now and go listen again...

HimemaniK - Ruler

Tracklist:

01. ~Intro~
02. BLOOD
03. Rinne
04. Fictitious
05. Jinrui Shuen no Tawamure
06. Ureta Mitsu no Aji
07. Ito

Download

Yay I got some stuff!

2011-12-06T17:07:00.000-05:00

Yep, I had some packages at the post office today! ^^ I got my HimemaniK CD from Darkest Labyrinth and as always, they sent me plenty of flyers to hang up on my creative room wall along with the CD! They include the flyer that I posted here the other day as well as another one for BLOOD with some new information on it! They're going to release a CD entitled "CHAIN -FALL into YOU-" sometime in the near future! <3 I don't know if it will be a remake of the third period track entitled "CHAIN" or if it's an album or what, but it's nice to know that they're working on something new! ^^

I also received Croix Allcine and VENGEANCE for BLOOD LIVE IN MEXICO DVD from CD Baby as well! Croix Allcine is very cool! It's pressed on one of those little 8 CM CD's that may or may not be able to be ripped in my CD drive... It should fit, but I've never ripped one of those on this computer... Hmm... I haven't listened to or watched any of this yet, so it may have to wait until later until I upload something... Unfortunately, I cannot rip the DVD so you will have to seek that elsewhere... eh heh...

I also went to Pain Care today and got my new script... I really have to talk to Frank about these constant trips down there because he's killing my fucking car... If it's not bad enough that I have to drive down there once a week for a new script, they make it so that I have to come back again the next day so that I can fill the fucking thing! It's like 40 miles each way... :\ There was some good that came out of going to Pain Care, though... I don't have to submit to weekly pee tests anymore! Apparently since I've passed every one that they've given me so far, I don't have to do them every single time now... Yay! <3

Well, I'm off to go and make some spaghetti and meatballs for dinner... Hopefully I'll have some time to listen to my new CD's tonight and get at least one of them up for you this evening! Until then, have a great evening and a nice Wednesday! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

I'm on my way down, I'd like to take you with me...

2011-12-05T16:02:00.000-05:00

Depression rules the day today... I can't shake myself out of this funk and it resulted in some serious cutting... *Sigh* I went to the post office to find only packages for Rob today, I'm sorry that I have no music to share with you yet... I really hope that when I go to Plymouth tomorrow to get my pills counted, there is something for me.

I feel like there is an endless spiral going on in my head, a downward one, that is... It seems as the hours pass by, I fall deeper into this depression... The cutting didn't even fucking help! I used to get relief from it at least, but not so much the past few times...

To top it off, Rob has been working overtime to help give us all a nice Christmas and I'm stuck here with Timothy... That's something that I shouldn't mind, but how can I care for a six-year-old in this type of mindset?! I'm doing my best, of course, but it's just really hard. How the fuck do you tell a kid his age that you mutilate your body to feel better and that it doesn't work... The answer: you don't... Just wear long-sleeves and pretend like everything is fine... This probably sounds like a fucking ramble by now... eh heh... I'm sorry... I hope you're all having a better day than I am...

+Rei Bathory+

On the mend...

2011-12-04T17:15:00.000-05:00

This sickness is finally loosening its grip on me... I feel less congested and my body is not hurting as much. However, this seems to be the time of day when the symptoms really flare up... As I type this, my nose is really bothering me and my cough is acting up again... *Sigh* Oh well, I feel better on the whole.

This has been a pretty uneventful weekend for me... It's actually pretty nice without all of them around here as I talked about earlier this week. I've been doing a lot of online shopping for both Rob and I with regards to Xmas presents... I have to go to the mailbox tomorrow as I should already have some packages awaiting at the post office...

Speaking of which, I just checked my EMS tracking number and the new HimemaniK CD just arrived in New York City about 2 hours ago! It should be here in tomorrow's mail! Once I have listened to it a few times, I will post it up for everyone to download! ^^

Well, not much else going on right now... I hope you're all having a nice Sunday evening and a wonderful start to the week for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

New music is on the way!

2011-12-03T16:58:00.000-05:00

Yes, I have not forgotten about my music uploads... I just haven't really been feeling anything worth uploading. That is about to change. As we speak, I have three CD's and a DVD on the way... The first is HimemaniK's new mini-album "Ruler." I know that was a popular download when I put up "Wanna Be A Figurine" last year... I also have a very rare CD in Croix Allcine (Kiwamu's very first band) coming and BLOOD's "SPLEEN ~Despair~" mini-album from 2006... So there will be new uploads by next week... I was going to put up the new Blutengel "Nachtbringer" album, but I asked if anyone wanted it and got no replies... So... Well, that is all, have a lovely evening! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

HOLY CRAP! HOLY CRAP! JIZZ

2011-12-03T10:18:00.000-05:00

There are three things that stick out on this flyer... First of all, is BLOOD, of course... They are doing another live show. Second is the fact that VELVET EDEN is going to be performing at the same show! *Dies* And third is that "BLOOD (Kanji) DVD" message at the bottom... Are they doing a DVD of this show?! Fuck I hope so... And I hope this means that VELVET EDEN will be the newest edition to the Darkest Labyrinth/Starwave Records family! One can only hope! So much speculation and I must know what this all means! If there is a new DVD coming out, I will have it... Yes. That is all, still sick and not feeling even slightly better... Have a lovely day, all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Feeling worse...

2011-12-02T17:21:00.000-05:00

Haven't done shit today, nope... I think I have the flu or something and I can't do anything but sleep and watch TV. Well, I did go and get Timothy off the bus, but all I had to do was throw a sweatshirt on and get in my car... Still, that's a lot when you're all run down...

All sewing and other art projects are on hold until I feel better... I don't have much going right now anyhow, but still... *Sigh* I hope all of you are having better days than I am and a nice weekend for all of you! <3 <3 <3 ACHOO *

+Rei Bathory+

Attempted manipulation and sickness...

2011-12-01T18:16:00.000-05:00

What is attempted manipulation, you ask? Well, I called my psychiatrist's office this morning to try and get her to talk to Frank. First of all, I don't even know if this can be considered manipulation, because this is a real problem... Anywho, I wanted her to talk to Frank about these fucking pill counts. I wanted her to know how much anxiety I go through every week worrying about how many pills I have... You guys don't know the half of it...

I do all of this nonsensical math in my head about how many I've taken and stuff like that. I cause myself more grief than these fucking shit pills are worth, but I do it because I'm addicted... eh heh... I stress over this so much that I actually DO lose sleep over it... It has got to stop... But, alas, she never called me back... eh heh...

Then there is the fact that I feel like absolute shit today... I woke up this morning because I was so fucking congested... I have a horrible cough and my body is just hurting like crazy! I've also been experiencing dizzy spells and other things, ugh, I need to get off this fucking computer...

Have a great Friday, all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

I cannot believe it... They're gone!!!!!

2011-11-30T18:12:00.000-05:00

Yes! After what seemed like a year of fucking babies crying and Marissa turning my little boy into a hellion, they've gone... I am so happy at the prospect of having my home (and my creative room) back to the way it was some months ago.

But, there is also a sadness that comes along with this... Sure, they were noisy and a bit messy, but they're also family... I fell in love with that baby and I will miss him terribly. The house is not going to be the same without him... *Sigh*

I went and picked up my pills today, that's been my only venture outside of the house... Unfortunately, I was not given my 90 that the script said I'd get... No, Pain Care called the pharmacy and informed them of the mistake... If only they hadn't... I would be in seventh Percocet heaven sewing away tonight... eh heh... I really can't wait to be able to sew at any hour of the day and not have to worry about waking Jason... I'll also be able to play my instruments more now that he's gone...

Ah, nothing else to say tonight... I'm off to go and eat something. Have a lovely evening and a nice Thursday, all of you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

And we're down to three...

2011-11-29T17:47:00.000-05:00

I've been cut down to three pills a day by Frank, in case you haven't already read the comments in yesterday's post... The reason for this is because he thinks that I'm "under-using" the Percocet. Yes, ME...UNDER-USING DRUGS! Can you believe that?! I'm not even sure that I do! XD

The only thing that's in my favor is that he wrote me a script for a months worth of pills, so I suppose I can cheat a little... I don't know, I'm just so fed up with this situation... I'm on next to nothing and my pain isn't any better than it was to begin with... I pop at least 8 Tylenol at a time to relieve pain in between the narcotics... eh heh...

I know, I know, I should be thankful that I can get anything... There are people like Rob's brother who tore his rotator cuff at work and can't get a prescription for any kind of pain medication... :\ If I get completely cut off, I do know of some doctor's in the area that will write for just about anything... It wouldn't hurt to try one of them, I suppose...

Well, I'm off to make dinner. I hope you're all having a nice evening and a wonderful Wednesday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Useless as tits on a bull...

2011-11-28T17:23:00.000-05:00

I wasted my fucking time going to that other pain clinic today... No new meds, nothing to offer in any way to help me out with my pain, jack shit! The doctor I saw was so hung up on what I was taking for meds and my mental health issues that he didn't even really seem to care about my pain!

$30 in gas for absolutely nothing, no lie... I am so goddamn sick and tired of Dartmouth that I don't know if I'll ever go back... The doctor I saw said that he'd talk to my primary care doctor about possibly putting me on Lyrica for the nerve pain that I'm experiencing... Of course, Lyrica has an antidepressant in it, so it has to be cleared through my psychiatrist, too... I really don't want another medication, I doubt it will work even if I do get it... *Sigh*

Tomorrow it is back to Frank and I hope to hell that he'll at least leave me at the dose that I'm on now... If he cuts me down anymore I might just have to lose my shit on him...

Well, I hope all of you didn't have to waste half a tank of gas for nothing today... Hope you're having a nice evening and a lovely Tuesday for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Yay! They're leaving!

2011-11-27T16:48:00.000-05:00

Yep, Rob's brother and his girlfriend found a place to call their own... They've got the keys and now they're just waiting to get their utilities and such turned on. I can't wait until they get it all straightened out! I'll have my creative room back, the living room won't be such a fucking pigsty and Timothy will (hopefully) be back on good behavior...

They spent an insane amount of money on Black Friday and it is eating away at me... I'm doing my best to hold my tongue until they leave, but fuck, they could have given me some of that money... They bought a Playstation 3 a bunch of games, two HDTV's and a shitload of toys for their kids... Rob and I have barely started for our family, and it's like a slap in the face... *Sigh*

I really hope that they can get their shit out of here as soon as possible! It's looking like it will be next weekend before they do, but that's fine... A holiday without them sounds promising to me. There can be no better Christmas present than getting my house back... eh heh...

Hope all of you are having a nice evening and a lovely start to the week for you all! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+